Harriette Cole: My friend won’t eat, and she won’t tell me what’s going on

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who suffers from an eating disorder. This is not news. She has been open about it for some years now, but it seems to be getting worse.

She is such a smart and beautiful person. I just don’t understand why she can’t eat. It doesn’t make any sense. I offer to cook her food and meet her for dinner. She just picks at whatever is on her plate.

At least today she is honest about the fact that she has a problem, but she never talks about exactly what she does to herself.

I can just see that she is withering away. How can I help her?

Friend in Need

DEAR FRIEND IN NEED: The fact that your friend has shared her challenge with you is good, because at least you have an entry point for conversation.

Because she has shared about her issue, she may be OK with you checking in to see how she’s doing and if she’s getting any help. Don’t probe, though.

You have to recognize that you cannot change her decisions. It is completely up to her. You can offer your love and friendship and continue to let her know you want to support her.

For more information about eating disorders and how to talk to your friend, read this: bit.ly/3JsmxD4.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went on a cruise recently, and it was so much fun. It was a jazz event, so there was tons of great music every day. One terrible thing happened, though. My roommate got COVID-19 while on the ship.

We don’t know how he got sick, but he did. It was a mess for a minute, but the ship sorted it out and gave me another room so that I could be separated from him.

But now I’m freaked out. I don’t think I should go on a cruise again. I remember at the height of COVID, cruise ships were breeding grounds for illness, but I thought that was behind us.

Do you think I’m being extreme? I ended up having to basically stay in my room for the rest of the cruise out of fear that I would get sick from the people walking around.

Ship Quarantine

DEAR SHIP QUARANTINE: COVID-19 is not gone. That’s something we all need to accept so we can decide individually how we plan to protect ourselves. Of course it was scary to be on a ship where you could not leave when someone got sick — especially the person you were rooming with. It’s good to know that your cruise line has a protocol in place to create the healthiest environment possible.

Should you cross cruises off your list? Not necessarily, but you may feel more comfortable wearing a mask in public again, especially in confined areas — whether on a ship or anywhere else. We have seen that masks cut down the infection rate of COVID-19 and other diseases. Use them wisely.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.