Harriette Cole: My son won’t come out of his room, and I’m worried

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son used to be an overachiever. Now he hangs out in his room playing video games. He hardly ever comes out to talk to the family. He dropped out of college during the pandemic, and he doesn’t want to go back.

I worry about him. Some of his behaviors are on the checklist for depression. I cannot get him to go to a therapist or anything.

How can I help my son?

Worried Sick

DEAR WORRIED SICK: Who are your son’s friends? Do you think any of them might be a good influence on him? Perhaps you can coax your son out of his room through friends who invite him to hang out or come to visit.

Plan a family vacation that will pull him out of the house and get him doing something different.

You may also need to use tough love. Tell him he has to get a job if he is not going to continue going to school. He has to be responsible for himself. You can push him to take action.

If none of that works, stage an intervention. Get a therapist to make a house call to visit with him and talk to him about what’s going on.

You should take this seriously. Sadly, many young people have suffered tremendously during the last few years, too often with depression being the diagnosis. If your son is even possibly suffering from depression, you need to get him medical attention now — even if he gets mad at you in the short term.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have developed some dark spots on my face over the past few years. I cover them up with makeup, but they seem to be getting worse.

A friend of mine keeps chastising me for spending time in the sun. I have to admit that I have been a sun worshipper for most of my life, since I was a teenager. I am now in my 50s. Now I worry that sun exposure may be the reason for these marks.

I have never gone to a dermatologist. My friend says I should. I always thought that was an extravagant doctor to visit and that only rich people did it. She says it’s smart to go because then you know what you need to do to care for your skin. What do you think?

Skin Care

DEAR SKIN CARE: Dermatologists recommend that you visit them once a year to check on the health of your skin. Your skin is the largest organ in your body, believe it or not. Everyone should have their skin evaluated.

If you have had a lot of sun exposure, even in the distant past, you especially should check to make sure that you do not have skin cancer. Yes, hyperpigmentation can come from overexposure to the sun.

Schedule an appointment today. You do not have to be rich to do this. You will be smart to go so that you can learn how best to protect and care for your skin.

What you should not do is put skin-lightening products on your face without a doctor’s supervision. Such treatments can cause further damage to your skin.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.