Harriette Cole: She fought my sentimental claim to my mom’s table. Now we don’t speak.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a sister-in-law I no longer speak to due to the fact that she thought she was entitled to my deceased mother’s belongings.

I wanted the dining room table because we grew up eating our meals around it, and I had many fond memories.

However, my sister-in-law wanted it because she was remodeling their kitchen and thought it would look good in their house. My brother was indifferent about the table and didn’t care whether he got it.

We started arguing about it and eventually came to the decision that I would get the table.

For the remainder of the division of my mother’s things, she wouldn’t look at me or talk to me. It’s been this way for over a year. Is there any way we can resolve this when she won’t speak to me?

Inheritance

DEAR INHERITANCE: People become oddly territorial when it comes to the belongings of the deceased. That’s why a will is so important, and I recommend that everyone have one — even if you think you don’t own any possessions of value. When you are gone, everything that you owned can seem valuable to your grieving loved ones.

That said, since you are keenly aware of what happened and feel bad about it, you can be proactive. Reach out to your sister-in-law. Tell her that you would like to reconnect with her. Address the elephant in the room. Say that you know you two fell out over your mother’s table.

You can express your sorrow that this possession caused a fracture in your relationship with her. Tell her you would like to rekindle your bond. Life is too short and precious for the two of you to still be at odds. See what she says.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Five of my friends are about to stay with me for a week for vacation. I miss them a lot and am excited to see them, but I know that I tend to get irritable during long visits, especially as the host.

I live in New York City, so they want to go out and do tourist activities that do not appeal to me. I am also very independent, more so at home than at school where they know me. I am worried that I might get overwhelmed or irritable and want to spend time alone, but I know I can’t just leave them.

Do you have any suggestions as to how I can keep my cool for a week? If I do get irritated, how should I address it with them so that they do not think I am really mad?

Girls Trip

DEAR GIRLS TRIP: You have to get your head right. Your job will be tour guide and host for the week — and it’s just one week. You can do it.

Get up a little early and take a walk each day by yourself to get some alone time. Tell your friends that you need a bit of chill time daily so that they understand if you go off by yourself for a bit. If you adopt the attitude of being their guide, you can make the trip fun and adventurous for them. Just remember that it is only for a few days.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.