DEAR HARRIETTE: I always choose a window seat on flights. I enjoy being able to rest my head by the window, and I do not like being shoulder-to-shoulder with two strangers.
I was recently on a flight on which I was seated next to a mother and her young child. The mother tapped my shoulder and politely asked me if I would switch seats with her child, who was begging for a window seat. I politely told her no. The woman offered to buy me a drink if I would switch for even half the flight. I declined again. The woman looked at me as if I had done something terrible.
I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the incident. I don’t think I’m a villain for refusing to accommodate a stranger and her child. She could have easily selected a window seat when she purchased her tickets, just as I did.
Am I wrong for refusing to give up my seat?
Entitled Passengers
DEAR ENTITLED PASSENGERS: That was definitely an awkward moment because the mother did not seem to accept the boundaries set before her.
Sure, it would have been nice of you to give up your seat, but you had every right not to do that. Once you said no, she should have honored that and let her child know that the seat wasn’t available. Her pushiness just made the moment more awkward for everyone.
I will say that sometimes parents and children on planes can be a nightmare. Once I had my daughter on a flight with me when she was about 4 years old. She was up and down the aisle, busy as ever. At a certain point, she was extra fretful. A compassionate woman across the aisle whispered to me to bring more activities next time. I hadn’t prepared well for how to occupy her attention.
Yes, that mom could have reserved a window seat to occupy her daughter. She also needed other games, toys, etc. to keep her daughter engaged. When a parent isn’t equipped to keep a child occupied, others often suffer the consequences.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My cousin always needs to have the spotlight shining on her. She swoops in from time to time to see the family and takes up all the oxygen in the room.
Recently, we were all gathered, and I was telling a story. She jumped in and interrupted to tell a story of her own. I was cut off midsentence. This is so common that nobody did anything other than turn to focus on her. I was livid.
Should I say something to her?
Enough Is Enough
DEAR ENOUGH IS ENOUGH: In the moment, you could have said, “Hold on. Please let me finish my story before you tell yours.”
Now, after the fact, you can still call her on it. Tell her that you do not appreciate it when she interrupts you. It is rude. Ask her to be more thoughtful next time.
If she acts as if she is unaware of what you are talking about, give her a couple of examples and let her know that next time you will push back. You deserve to have a voice, too.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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