DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve had my current job for about three weeks. It isn’t exactly my dream job, but I’ve enjoyed it so far.
There is a huge chance that I’ll be leaving soon for a new opportunity that just presented itself to me.
At a company party, my current co-workers were telling me all about how much they like me and how much easier I’ve made their lives since I’ve been there. Do you think that they will feel betrayed when I leave? I was hoping to maintain friendships with them even after I move on.
New Job
DEAR NEW JOB: Stay in the present moment for now. Enjoy your colleagues and continue to bond with them. Do not let on that you may be leaving. Until that happens, it is just an idea. Savor the moments you have with these new friends. Do your best at your job and at cultivating these relationships.
When the time comes for you to leave, make sure your new friends know how much you value getting to know them, and express that you hope to stay close to them after you go.
I remember my first job out of college, which I actually hated. The one bonus was that I made a friend for life. I believe I was meant to be there to meet this woman. That may be true for you and this group of people.
On another note, why are you leaving so soon? Being on a job for three weeks is not necessarily enough time to give up on it. Check yourself and your motivations. Make sure you aren’t a quitter. If this just happens to be a stop on your journey, that’s fine. But examine your patterns to see what your behavior says about you.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I used to be in close touch with a woman I met some years back. She is about 20 years older than me, and I like her a lot. We would have brunch or tea a few times a year.
In the last few years, we have lost touch. I got busy with work and family, and her husband passed away.
I feel bad, though. She is a special person, and I dropped the ball. How can I reconnect with her? I’m feeling embarrassed by my prolonged absence.
Rekindle
DEAR REKINDLE: Just reach out. Don’t let any more time pass. Chances are, your friend will be thrilled to hear from you.
Schedule a time to talk or get together. Listen intently as she fills you in on her life, and let her know what’s happening with you. Tell her how much you miss her and that you want to be in closer touch.
Resist feeling guilty. She, too, could have initiated communication with you. Rather than lamenting what you could have done, focus on the present. Make plans that include each other — and stick to them.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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