Healthy ways of addressing an argument: Psychotherapist shares tips

Arguments are healthy – unlike what we think, arguments in a relationship helps in giving us fresh perspectives about the other person. In a relationship, the partners often get to understand each other better through a conversation and a healthy argument. However, when it comes to argument, we always tend to think it in a negative manner and treat it the same way. Things often get heated; conversations start to get criticising of the other person and we lose the respect. But that should not be the case. Arguments produce fresh opinions and give us a different outlook of the situation.

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Often arguments end up hurting the involved people, which further makes the relationship difficult. Psychotherapist Emily H Sanders addressed this issue and shared tips on how we can share our feelings with our partner after an argument. However, she also mentioned, “Please note this should be done post argument and after the tension has died down (not while things are still spicy.) The goal is to create safety and understanding, and this will be challenging to do while things are still extremely heated.”

Share: It is important to share the way we felt during the argument. While doing this, we should always focus on the way we felt and not end up criticising the other person. We should speak sentences that only express our emotions.

Validation: In an argument, usually two people can get their feelings hurt. While we share our emotions, we should also create a safe space for our partners to share their emotions as well.

Triggers: we all have our own triggers. It is important to let your partner know of it o that it can create awareness and you both can discuss on the way forward.

Responsibility: Own your responsibility. Take responsibility for the conflict or the misunderstanding that you may have caused.

Plan: “It is important to strategise when emotions are running high; use the calm to be proactive for the next conflict,” wrote Emily.