Here’s How to Master the Art of Squirting

Ah, squirting. Of all the sex things, this little number remains among the most widely debated. “Squirting,” aka “female ejaculation,” is shrouded in mystery and confusion, constantly begging questions like: How do you do it? If you haven’t done it before, are you missing out on the orgasmic experience of a lifetime? Also, is it even a real thing or is it actually just pee? And if not pee, what exactly is squirt, anyway? Clearly there’s a lot to unpack here. But don’t worry, we have answers.

ICYMI, squirting is when a person with a vagina gushes fluid during sex. As for what exactly that fluid is, sexologist and sex educator Goody Howard says squirt is a mixture of liquid from the bladder and fluid from the Skene’s Glands, which is similar to prostate fluid. (So in other words, yeah, there’s probably some pee in there.)

Okay, great, now that we’ve got that little mystery sorted out, let’s move on to some more practical questions, like, uh, how do you actually do it?

If you’ve never squirted before, you might think you’re just not “a squirter.” But according to sex educator Lola Jean—who just happens to hold the world record in squirting volume, BTW—the idea that squirting is this magical, involuntary pleasure response that only happens to a few lucky, natural-born squirters during peak sexual bliss is actually a huge misconception. “I regularly squirt voluntarily, without orgasm or internal stimulation of any kind,” she says.

While we may not all be quite on Jean’s level, you probably can learn how to make yourself squirt if you want to. Howard says that if you have a vulva, you likely have the ability to squirt. “Squirting is like abdominal muscles,” she says. “We all have the physical capability to have six-packs, but that shit takes focus and effort.”

If this is starting to sound like more work than it’s worth, rest assured that while squirting may be totally cool and awesome, it is in no way required for a fulfilling sex life. If it’s not your thing, there’s literally zero need for any squirting FOMO. That said, if you’re up for the challenge, we’ve pulled some advice from the experts on how to squirt—either by yourself or with a partner. Here’s exactly how to nail the wet and wild art of squirting. (Warning, you are now entering the splash zone.)

Make sure you’re well hydrated

Before even thinking about squirting, understand that water is your best friend here. To stay hydrated, Howard suggests drinking at least half your body weight in ounces of water a day.

“For example, if a person weighs 200 pounds, they should drink 100 ounces of water per day. Every time they drink something that is not water, they need to offset that with the same amount of ounces in water,” she explains. “Hydration is a key part of sexual function and pleasure.”

While hydration is obviously a crucial ingredient in the recipe for good sex (and also, like, staying alive in general) regardless of what you’ve got going on in the bedroom, Jean says it’s especially important when it comes to squirting: “If you’re dehydrated it may take longer to build enough proper engorgement to expel, though it can still be done!”

Give yourself plenty of time to explore every erogenous zone

Pleasure educator and consultant Cecilia Villero, MSW, encourages spending lots of time warming up your body with various types of touch and sensations. “Depending on the person, they may need hours of preparation and stimulation, starting with sexy messages earlier in the day and building up to a relaxing massage in the evening.” (Yes, hi, sign me up for a full day of sexy massages, pls.)

And while getting your body ready is obviously key, you’ll also need to spend some time warming up the ol’ brain. “If you’re distracted, uncomfortable, or exhausted, squirting might be off the table for the evening,” says Villero. As is often true when it comes to good sex, getting in the right headspace is everything.

Get to know your pelvic floor muscles

According to Howard, squirting requires a combination of relaxation and muscle control. So yeah, it’s kind of a careful balance, and learning to strike it might take a little exploration.

Jean recommends experimenting with your pelvic floor muscles—aka the muscles that span the bottom of the pelvis and support the pelvic organs (oh hi, bladder, bowel, and uterus). Yep, we’re talking about Kegels.

To get a better sense of these muscles, try putting a finger in your vagina and then tightening those muscles as if you were holding in your pee. Those are your pelvic floor muscles, and learning to control them is a huge part of making yourself squirt.

Get stimulated

Friendly reminder that while learning to squirt may take a little time and effort, it shouldn’t feel like work. This is all about pleasure, remember?

While a squirting orgasm isn’t necessarily superior to any other kind of orgasm, (remember, all orgasms are good orgasms!) squirting is often associated with intense physical pleasure. So the more aroused you are, the more likely you are to squirt.

Try experimenting with different forms of stimulation to figure out what turns you on the most. Villero suggests starting with firm and consistent manual or oral stimulation of the clit, and then working in a little internal stim.

For some, dual stimulation might be the ticket to squirt city. “Experiencing insertive sex and clitoral stimulation at the same time is the easiest way to connect to that sensation,” says Howard.

And whether you’re playing with yourself or a partner, that magical blend of internal and external pleasure is often most easily achieved with toys. That might look like you using an oral sex simulation toy on your clit while your partner takes care of things internally, for example, or letting an all-in-one dual stimulation toy take over. “Something like the butterfly kiss is great for simultaneous stimulation,” says Howard.

Don’t be alarmed if you think you’re going to pee

Feeling like you’re about to pee during sex might not necessarily be the most, uh, comfortable of sensations, but if squirting is the goal, it’s actually a good sign! Squirting feels like you’re about to pee because most of the fluid is coming out of the urethra. “From what we understand, it’s a mixture of mainly water, fluid similar to that released by the prostate gland, minerals, and urea, which makes sense since it’s coming out of the bladder.” says Villero.

That said, while squirt likely contains some urine, it’s not the same thing as peeing because, well, it’s just not. As Gigi Engle, certified sex educator for 3Fun, previously told Cosmo, “Squirting is ‘squirting’ because it is squirt; it happens during sexual activity. You’re not sitting down to pee, you’re squirting liquid during sexual stimulation.” The point is, “Squirting is squirting and peeing is peeing. Both are natural things that happen to human bodies,” as Engle put it. “We should all stop being so worried about it and try to enjoy ourselves instead.”

So yeah, don’t let the whole pee thing freak you out. If you feel like you’re going to pee, that’s a good sign you are on your way to squirtsville, baby.

Go easy on yourself

Remember, this is about pleasure—squirting shouldn’t actually feel like work. If it’s not coming super naturally to you, don’t stress about it! Squirting (and all that sexy stimulation that leads up to it) is supposed to be fun.

All bodies are different, which means everyone’s experiences with squirting will be, too. For some, on-demand, fire-hydrant squirting might be the most natural thing in the world. For others, squirting might feel almost impossible. If that’s you, don’t get too hung up on it. It can be legit hard to fully allow yourself to relax and let go! And again, while squirting is a totally cool and fun thing some bodies can do during sex, it’s just one of the many cool and fun things bodies can do during sex, and it is in no way required for a mind-blowing sexual experience.

While learning to make yourself squirt is certainly a worthwhile endeavor (and one that can definitely be a lot of fun), it’s important to remember that sex—whether with yourself or with a partner—shouldn’t really have “goals.” As Villero puts it, “It’s not about the finality of the orgasm, but about the pleasure that you can experience.”

If that pleasure happens to result in a big old gushing squirt, then lucky you, you sexy little squirt gun. If it doesn’t? Less post-sex clean up for you! Sounds like a win-win to me.