Home dynamics that strain sibling relationships

When siblings are brought up in a home together, a lot of factors determine their relationship at an older age. Sibling relationships are supposed to be one of the sweetest, love hate relationship comprising of the same family values and experiences. However, often due to the changing family dynamics and the relationship of them with their parents, they tend to grow apart from each other. This also affects them individually and impact their adult relationships at a later stage of life. Speaking of the same, Psychotherapist Emily H Sanders wrote, “It’s no surprise that a lot of heartache can result within our families; there’s a lot of focus places on parental relationships, however the ache that can exist in sibling relationships is often overlooked.”

Emily further added that even though sibling relationships are meant to be built on the foundation of trust and friendship, a lot of things may affect it – “Ideally there would be closeness and friendship found among siblings; however, there can be a lot of grief for those who experience estrangement, abuse, rivalry, or other dysfunctional dynamics with their siblings,” she added.

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Emily further listed down the home dynamics that can affect the sibling relationships and strain it; they are:

Favouritism: Often parents show favouritism for one of the siblings and give preference to one of them – this can lead to jealousy and low self-esteem in the other sibling.

Abuse: Often in dysfunctional families, favouritism can transcend to excluding the other sibling or them facing abuse in many forms.

Parental attention: When one of the siblings require parental attention more or extra care owing to their health issues or mental health issues, this can strain sibling relationships further.

Sibling abuse: Abuse in the hands of one sibling with no parental intervention to sort things out can strain the relationship between two siblings and affect them in a major way.

Pitted against each other: Often siblings are pitted against each other and portrayed as competitions by parents. This often transcends to strained relationship among them.

Trauma: When families collectively face a trauma and do not know the coping mechanisms to get over the same, siblings also tend to grow apart in their emotions from each other.

Healthy communication: Absence of healthy communication within family can lead to fights among siblings and strained relationships.

Boundaries: Boundaries are meant to be respected at all times. When this does not happen within a family setup, it can scar the siblings and make them grow apart.