In relationships, we often end up hurting people unintentionally. This is a natural process. When a lot of emotions are involved in a relationship, people can get hurt by our words or actions. Any relationship, be it of love, or with our family members, is a journey of understanding, being compassionate, and understanding others. In this journey, in the quest of creating a safe and healthy space for everyone to feel safe, we often end up hurting others. This is unavoidable. But we can always repair the relationship with an earnest apology. That’s why it is important to know how to authentically apologise in order to mend the relationship, and the make the person feel better.
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Psychologist Nicole LePera is known for sharing such deep insights on relationships on her Instagram profile on a regular basis. Nicole, in one of her recent posts, shared tips on how to authentically apologise to the person whom we have hurt. Here are some tips:
Feelings: in healthy relationships, people acknowledge the emotions and the feelings of the other person. In order to apologise, we must respect how the other person felt by our words and actions.
Two sides of the story: Sometimes we refrain from apologising thinking that we didn’t do it intentionally, and hence, the burden of hurting someone is not on us. But this is not a right way to handle the situation. Often, both sides of the story can be true. Just how we did not intend to hurt the feelings, the other person’s emotions and feelings are also valid. Hence, it is important to address the situation in a healthy manner.
Empathise: Empathising and listening carefully to the other person’s version of how they felt with our words and actions is a part of a healthy relationship.
Doing differently: An authentic apology also carries the duty of bringing in change in behavior in the future. To start doing the things differently and being careful about other people’s feelings.
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