How To Help Your Student Decide Between Colleges

As the May 1 deadline for college decisions looms, it is imperative to prioritize helping your student make decisions about their future. Yet, as a parent, it can be challenging to help your student weigh their options while allowing them to have autonomy in the process. Ultimately, this is the first major decision they will make for their future, and you should seek to guide them in considering the possibilities with care and thoughtfulness while respecting their goals and dreams.

If your student has been accepted into more than one school on their list, they should devote the next few weeks to researching each school’s scholarships, research opportunities, campus location, student clubs, and academic programs offerings. Here are ways you can guide your student through the decision-making process once the research is complete.

1. Dedicate specific times to discuss their college process and designate times to pause the conversation.

The college decision is one of the most consequential decisions that your student will make about their future; as such, it can bring an enormous amount of stress. One of the best ways to help your student manage any anxiety they may be facing is to “bracket” the conversation—set aside specific times to discuss the options together and be intentional about pausing the conversation at other times to give your student time to breathe and engage in other activities. Easing the pressure and providing dedicated times for fun and relaxation will give your student the opportunity to step back and see the bigger picture, which is often the very thing they need in order to make their final choice.

2. Ask questions to help your student introspect.

One of the best ways to provide guidance as your student makes a decision is to approach your student with curiosity, encouraging an open dialogue. Asking intentional questions about your student’s interests, ambitions, and hopes for their educational journey will not only allow you to meet your student where they are in the process, championing their progress toward their goals, but will also encourage your student to think critically about which school will best position them to pursue their passions in the coming years. Your questions should help your student critically consider the many different factors to take into account—from finances to academic programs to location, and more.

As you seek to help them approach the college decision, here are important questions to ask your student:

• What do you value most in a college? What did you first notice when you visited the colleges on your list—location, size, culture, academic programs, or something else?
• Have you thought about what it would be like to attend a school in xyz region? Do you think you would prefer to be closer/further from home?
• If money, grades, and test scores were not a factor, where would you dream of going? Why?
• What types of things do you imagine yourself being involved in on campus? How do you envision yourself being a part of the campus community at each of the schools you have been accepted to?
• What do you think you need in order to feel confident in your choice?
• What do you think your freshman year would look like at each of these schools?
• What did you like most about each school?

3. (Re)-visit the schools they are choosing between.

In most cases, if your student is making the tough decision between schools at the top of their list, they have already seen the school in person or attended a virtual tour. However, if they have not yet done so, an in-person or virtual visit can help your student to solidify their final choice. Being on campus and chatting with current students provides applicants with the opportunity to see beyond the school’s “on paper” offerings and get a sense of how they would fit into the school’s unique campus culture.

If cost or other factors prohibit you from taking your student to visit campus in person, there are also virtual opportunities your student can use to explore their options. Online platforms such as CampusReel and college’s official websites can provide students with a window into life on campus. In addition, you can encourage your student to ask the admissions office for contact information of alumni in your local area. Connecting with former students—even off campus—can help your student gain a more personal and everyday understanding of what life for the next four years would look like should they accept their offer of admission.

Deciding between colleges can be intimidating and even paralyzing for many students. As a parent, you can help keep your student focused on what is most important to them and how each school on their list will uniquely help them achieve their goals. Most importantly, parents can convey to their students that whichever school they ultimately choose to attend, they have the power to forge their own path to success. Every school has its pros and cons—it is up to the student to decide what they will make of wherever they choose to spend their next four years.