We are often surrounded by people who claim to be our friends but there are only a few who stand by us when we really need them while rest of them only add to our mental health woes. A toxic friendship can impact your mental health adversely while a healthy one can be therapeutic. To recognise healthy friendships, one must keep in mind certain basics that will help one make better choices. (Also read: How to help your friend deal with depression)
A friend who doesn’t spill your secrets or talk ill about you behind your back is someone who can be trusted. Also, someone who encourages you to be yourself and respects your boundaries is a true friend. It’s time to get rid of toxic friendships and recognise your real friends.
Nedra Glover Tawwab, Therapist, Author and NYT Bestselling Author, Relationship & Boundaries Expert in her recent Instagram post shares signs of healthy friendships.
“Friendships are a sacred space. Indeed, people flourish when they have healthy friendships. Healthy friendships add value and allow us to connect in profound ways to others,” writes Nedra.
SIGNS OF HEALTHY FRIENDSHIP
You feel safe sharing: It is not easy to share information with someone who you fear may misuse it. You can only trust a good friend to keep your secrets safe with them and that is one essential quality of a friend one should always keep in mind.
Your boundaries are respected: A good friend will always understand when you are not available and wait for you till you are in a position to talk to them. They will not force you to be the person you are not and respect your life decisions.
Your friend is not in competition with you: If your friend feels a pang of jealousy every time you achieve something, it will show in their behaviour. A friend should feel proud of you and your achievements; if they are not, they are not your real friends.
You can be authentic: You don’t need to pretend like you are someone else in company of a true friend. When you are allowed a safe space, you can be yourself.
Your secrets are safe: Again, a good friend will not divulge your secrets and misuse them.
You mutually support each other: One-sided friendship doesn’t survive for long. It should be two-way. If you have a person who always support you and you too help them when they are in need, it’s sign of a good friendship.
You can agree to disagree: True friends don’t take things to their heart. Even if we don’t agree with our friends, this will not create any conflict.
You enjoy spending time together: If you are in a healthy friendship, you will look forward to spending time with your friend and not make excuses to cancel plans or prioritise other things.
You’re able to grow together: A friendship that survives test of time is the bond that will remain intact forever.
You aren’t mocked or ridiculed in a way that hurts you: If your friend makes fun of you behind your back or mock and tease you in a manner that you don’t like it shows lack of respect for you.
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