How to set realistic New Year’s resolutions and stick to them

“This pressure to make a change, based on a cultural timeline like that of New Year’s Day, can set most of us up for failure because we only see it in black or white,” she explains.

“This heightening pressure can lead to increased anxiety or depression. It’s important if you are feeling symptoms of anxiety or depression to be kind to yourself and, in some cases, to consider speaking to a mental health expert.”

Not only can resolutions contribute to this pressure, but they can also make people feel like failures by trying to reach unattainable goals.

“Often people have these vague resolutions like ‘I’m going to be happier’ or ‘I want to be healthier,’ but they’re almost impossible to put into practice, because what does that really mean?” Morin says, adding this is what leads most resolutions to fail by January 18.

“People feel like they’re failures or think that they’re incapable or incompetent and give up and get frustrated.”

Instead, Koning suggests shifting your mindset from resolutions to setting intentions, which “offers us a more enjoyable approach to creating lasting change regardless of the time of year”.

“Resolutions can conjure feelings of good or bad and success or failure, whereas intentions offer us a place of compassion, growth and grace,” she says.

1. Examine your core values: You are more likely to stick to change if it supports your underlying values, Koning says, so consider asking yourself: what is important to you?

“Take the time to understand those values and how they are connected to the intention,” explains Koning. “Change often happens when we recognise that who we currently are isn’t aligning with who we want to be.”

2. Make it measurable: “Instead of saying, ‘I want to be happier,’ or ‘I want to be healthier,’ maybe your strategy is, ‘I’m going to do one fun thing every week,’ or ‘I’m going to go to the gym four days a week for 25 minutes at a time,’” suggests Morin.

3. Break it down: You don’t have to shoot for the whole year, either. Morin encourages 30-day challenges over annual goals. “When we start to set short term objectives that feel like they’re much more doable and we start to see progress, that progress keeps us motivated so we’re more likely to stick to them.”

4. Make it actionable: Figure out one thing you can do today to become a step closer to your goal. “When you identify it right down to what actionable step you can take today, it just becomes much more manageable,” Morin says.

5. Ease into new habits: Instead of creating a bunch of new habits, which can be daunting and hard to maintain, Koning suggests “habit stacking” with her clients, in which you “anchor” a new habit to an old habit.

“For example, if you want to set aside time for feeling grateful, try adding a minute of gratitude to tying your shoes every morning,” she explains.

“Tying your shoes [is an activity] that you complete naturally every single day … by adding a minute of gratitude to these existing habits, you will only enhance the ability to maintain the desired change.”

6. Track it: Morin says people are more likely to stick to their goals when they keep track of them.

7. Be kind to yourself: Remember, the idea of intention setting allows you to be less hard on yourself if you do get off track.

“This is a softer, gentler approach that encourages us to look closer at our core values,” Koning says. “When we can align our core values with our intentions there is less significance placed on the outcome and more room to enjoy the process of striving toward our goals.”