I tried the ‘7 stages of rest’ to see if it would cure my exhaustion and here’s which ones really worked

My only nit-pick with this one is that it’s very open to interpretation. Mine was to finally get some pictures framed and hung that I’d had under my bed for years. I’m staring at them now as I type this, and I have to say I do love the brightness and homeliness they give me.

I’m also lucky that my flat is located in some beautiful grounds with loads of nature. Whilst I often curse this for the ginormous spiders it gives me, I’ve also tried to take in a moment each day to look out and truly appreciate how #blessed I am.

I even saw a baby deer (which I of course filmed and immediately Whatsapped to my family chat ruining my sensory deprivation rest in the process).

5. Emotional Rest

‌Out of all the rests, this was the one I actually think I needed the most – a break from people pleasing and a space to freely express your feelings.

Like a lot of you, I put the needs and wants of everyone before myself. For me, one of the worst feelings is feeling like I’ve let someone down or, God forbid, upset them. Admittedly this wasn’t going to change overnight but this little challenge of putting myself first for once has really sparked something inside of me. A spark I hope that will ignite an inferno.

I started by saying no to the fancy work event invites I didn’t want to go to. Yeah, sunrise yoga sounds nice in principle, not when you have to get to east London from Croydon for 6am. I don’t drink, so no, I don’t want to attend a party celebrating your new shade of eyeliners and no, I don’t want to meet up for a coffee when we only caught up last month.

I cannot tell you how much better I feel for saying no and instead saying yes with intention for the work events that genuinely excite me.

However, the biggest breakthough with emotional rest was me messaging a friend who had upset me. As an inherent people pleaser, I would never have done this before, but I felt betrayed and rather than moaning to other friends about it, I drafted a message in my notes app and advocated for myself.

Immediately my friend phoned me and apologised, and I felt a weight off my shoulders for being heard. What’s that? Oh, it’s the sound of a breakthrough.

6. Social Rest

For me, social rest really is intwined with emotional rest as it’s all about differentiating between the relationships that revive or exhaust us.

By saying no to these social work events, it freed up time, time I could spend with my niece and nephew who I love more than anything.

My parents look after my niece Lyra on a Thursday and while I normally kept Thursdays clear so I could go round and play Sylvanian Families, I’d slowly started filling my diary back up. However, even though these were events I had wanted to attend, I realised that they weren’t worth missing my Lyra time and that is truly what is more important to me.

‌7. Spiritual Rest

‌Dr Saundra’s final step involves engaging in something “greater than yourself”, be it prayer or meditation. As mentioned before, this isn’t my first Rodeo and I know apps like Headspace and Calm only work for me when I want to listen to Matthew McConaughey read me a bedtime story.

Look, I’m sorry, but does anyone really manage to quieten their mind?

However, Dr Saundra also suggests community involvement and this I could get on board with. Whether that’s taking the time to chat to the elderly couple I see on my walk or donating my old phone to my mum’s work colleague so her son could finally have his first iPhone. For me these minor moments of human connection are far greater than 15 minutes of silence.

Overall, while Dr Saundra’s approach does seem novel, essentially, I realised it’s all about restoring the balance in your life and focusing on what and who is important to you.

For me, my exhaustion was a fire extinguisher to the joy in my life and while my back still aches and I continue to hit snooze, that burnout feeling of dread is finally gone.

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