‘I was in labour for 10 hours alone’: how people spent the day of the Downing Street leaving drinks

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While photos of the prime minister at a gathering on 13 November 2020 have raised questions about the credibility of the Partygate inquiry, they have also caused some to reflect on what they were doing that day.

As England was under a 28-day “circuit-breaker”, its second lockdown, Boris Johnson appeared to be raising a glass at a colleague’s No 10 leaving drinks.

Elsewhere, others were at relatives’ socially distanced funerals, delivering babies alone and looking after Covid patients.

Here some of those whose lives were deeply affected by restrictions recall the date.

‘I was allowed a few hours off work to go to the funeral’

Dr Gareth Jones
Dr Gareth Jones: ‘That photo made me unbelievably cross.’ Photograph: Gareth Jones/Guardian Community

When I looked back through photos I realised that was the day we buried my Uncle Bob. There’s a picture of my wife and my son Zachary, who was born just before the first lockdown, stood outside the crematorium.

Gareth’s wife, Dr Helen Kalaher, and son Zachary outside Chester crematorium on 13 November 2020
Jones’s wife, Dr Helen Kalaher, and son Zachary outside Chester crematorium on 13 November 2020. Photograph: Gareth Jones/Guardian Community

I’d only been allowed a few hours off work in the morning because I was on call in the Covid ward.

My uncle was a massive, larger-than-life character whose funeral would have been packed out in normal circumstances. But there were around 20 of us and my auntie was still too unwell with Covid to attend.

When they were both in the high-dependency unit in Chester with the virus, staff had wheeled their beds into the same room so they could spend their last few hours together. I stood at the back because of my exposure to Covid.

It was heartbreaking not being able to hug Archie, my godson and Bob’s grandson, who was around 16 at the time, at the funeral. The whole thing felt horrible and wrong and then I went off back to the wards.

I understand lots of the difficulties the government was facing, but that photo made me unbelievably cross this morning because of the sacrifices we were making. It’s made my blood boil.
Gareth Jones, 40, respiratory consultant, Liverpool

‘It’s a moment you can never get back’

Xenia Davis and her newborn son, Rowan, in November 2020
Xenia Davis and her newborn son, Rowan, in November 2020. Photograph: Xenia Davis/Supplied

I was in labour with my first baby having done all of my scans alone. I went into hospital at about 6pm and my partner wasn’t allowed in until I was in established labour at about 4am the next morning. I had about 10 hours alone – it’s just so upsetting, even now.

The midwives were lovely and really supportive. I can’t fault the care I received, but it was my partner I wanted with me. He wanted to be there to support me and I think he found that really hard too.

Although he was allowed to visit the next day, when my son was born, he still had to leave at 6pm and come back the next morning. My son also didn’t meet his grandparents until he was six months old.

You can go to another party next week, there’s nothing particularly significant about any of them. But having a first baby is a really significant moment that you can never get back.

How on earth can you lead this country and just have the arrogance to think you’d get away with this kind of stuff?
Xenia Davis, 41, choir leader, London

‘Seeing the photos makes me cry’

I was at home with my children while my partner was in hospital with lung cancer, having been diagnosed in May 2020. He’d had a complication with his treatment and had been in for a week after I’d left him at A&E because we couldn’t go in.

Between working, and while the kids (infants at the time) were on their screens, I was trying to speak to someone in the hospital about what was going on with him.

According to my WhatsApp messages, that was also the day he ended up coming home. The kids knew their dad was really ill but fortunately were young enough not to think he was going to die, which was what was in my head.

It makes me pretty much cry when I see that photo [of Johnson]. I can’t believe that was happening when we were trying our best to make sure no one got Covid.

My partner, who is better now, is less shocked. But I think going through his treatment alone really added to his trauma.

The images take me back to that time in a way that’s quite painful, but it makes me angry that the strategy is to try and make us forget.
Hannah (not her real name), 43, NHS psychologist in north-west England

‘I became more and more isolated’

Zoe from Cornwall.
Zoe from Cornwall: ‘I feel so aggrieved and let down.’ Photograph: Zoe/Guardian Community

On 13 November 2020, I was battling a mental health crisis brought on by intense fear of Covid-19, frustration at the poor handling by the government, sadness at the death toll and isolation forced on me and colleagues because of lockdowns. There was nothing in my diary that day, that week or the weeks before and after.

My employer had sent everybody home, which was the right thing to do. But over the following months, the lack of contact with my team members meant that I became more and more isolated and ineffective in my job. I lost a sense of belonging to something I’d previously really enjoyed.

My employer is ordinarily very supportive. But in some cases, managers went to pieces and just didn’t know how to manage a team in that situation. I had the counselling provided by my employer, which was helpful, but eventually I decided to leave my job.

A number of people left my employer at the time for similar reasons. I feel so aggrieved and let down by what is happening with our government and our prime minister. It makes me very angry and very sad when I think about what we’ve all been through, and how we all stuck to the rules.
Zoe, 50, works in education, Cornwall

‘If I’d known what I do now, I wouldn’t have stuck to the rules’

Thirteenth November is the day that I received a phone call from my mum’s number. It was not my mum on the phone, however, but a paramedic who was ringing to say that my mum had died. She died alone in her assisted living flat after months of us not being able to visit in person because of the restrictions.

At 89, she had been feeling desperately lonely but otherwise in good health. She had told me on the phone earlier that week that she’d “take her chances” with Covid if I could visit. But I told her no, I’ve got to stick to the rules.

If I’d known then what I know now, I wouldn’t have thought like that. I have no doubt in my mind that it was the impact of lockdown that killed her.

If I could go back I’d certainly break the rules and make sure I’d been there for her. Sandra Gould, 61, teacher, Leeds

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