If You’ve Ever Wondered Why Goofy Can Talk, But Pluto Can’t, I Have 10 Very Important Theories For You

Hi! My name is Alice, and I’m a Pluto truther. While some people obsess over Roswell and the moon landing, I’m convinced Pluto (the dog, not the planet) is fully capable of standing on two legs and maybe even talking.

I first developed this theory when I visited Disney World in 2007, but I’m certainly not the first person to notice that something is off with Pluto.

The internet is full of people asking why Pluto is the only member of the “Sensational Six” who doesn’t walk and talk like an anthropomorphized animal.

Unlike my fellow Pluto truthers who ask why Goofy acts like a human and Pluto doesn’t, I’m the only one bold enough to posit that Pluto actually can walk and talk like a human.

To support my theory, I started digging and quickly found some in-universe examples of Pluto walking on his hind legs.

So why doesn’t Pluto want to walk and talk on camera?! I ranked 10 theories from least to most likely.

10.

Least likely: Pluto is doing some sort of roleplay or cosplay.

9.

Pluto is a dog, but everyone else is a human who looks like an animal (like Hello Kitty, who is a confirmed human girl).

8.

Pluto doesn’t wear pants, so he isn’t allowed to participate in the same pants-mandatory society as Mickey and friends.

7.

Pluto is an untalented “actor.”

5.

Pluto is a self-conscious “actor.”

4.

Goofy is a class traitor and threw Pluto under the bus for his own gain.

2.

Pluto realized “work” would be much easier if he remained silent on all fours, rather than having to recite lines on his hind legs.

1.

Most likely: Evolution.