I’m saving a lot of money by living with my girlfriend, but it’s putting pressure on our relationship – what should I do?

It may be paying a bill, coping with the cost of living, or simply getting to grips with saving or investing. While it’s normal to feel some degree of financial anxiety, if you spend a lot of your time worrying about your finances or consistently reminding yourself of past money mistakes, it’s worth spending some time to free your fears. The good news is that you can overcome money anxiety with small changes to your financial habits to help build more structure, security, and a positive money mindset.

Start by identifying the key sources of your financial stress. A simple way to do this is to note the common causes of your anxiety and question your anxious thoughts. Next, set small goals and celebrate small wins, which could be as simple as opening a savings account to help overcome money anxiety.

Build a budget (that works for you!)

If you want to make your personal finances more predictable and provide peace of mind, it’s time to prepare a budget that will help you keep control of your spending, encourage you to save and relieve financial fears. A budget is also a useful tool to work out where you’ll be financially in the future and build financial independence, provided you can stick to your plan.

If you have a regular amount left over each month, you want to put that money to work; for you and your future. Take advantage of maximising your savings while your expenses are low. To make your life easier, you can set up a standing order from your current account each month to a savings account. Consider contributing to an ISA and a Pension to build up your money tax-efficiently. A common budgeting rule is 50/20/30 (essentials/savings/non-essentials). However, if these splits don’t suit your lifestyle, you can change them.

Plan for the unexpected.

A safe way to reduce money stress is to prepare an emergency fund: a cash reserve that you can rely on in emergencies or unplanned events. You should set aside at least 3-6 months’ expenditure to cover yourself during difficult times if needed; this will support you and reduce stress and anxiety levels. Start with an easy-access savings account separate from other savings that you can contribute regularly; many banks will reward you with competitive savings rates if you save monthly. The key is to keep saving until you reach your goal and forget about it!

Learn more about money.

Financial education is often preached as the way to end financial anxiety; the more you know and understand, the less worried you may feel. Unfortunately, financial education is not a subject taught in schools, so don’t be hard on yourself if you’re not financially savvy: the truth is you don’t have to be to make money work for you, but it wouldn’t hurt to get familiar with the basics. I suggest educating yourself in bite-sized chunks. For example, you can learn a bit about budgeting online for one month or listen to a podcast on saving or read a book on investing the next month.

I’m also a fan of regularly setting time aside to engage with money—I call it the money meet-up! Ideally, schedule around 45 minutes each month to dedicate to whatever is on your financial to-do list. It may be clearing bills, appealing a parking ticket, or updating your budget. The more you know about your personal finances, the savvier you will become and the less likely you will worry because you will be more in tune with your money.

Speak to a professional financial planner.

You don’t need to be rich before taking your finances seriously. If you feel completely overwhelmed by your finances or need help to control your money, consider meeting with a financial planner. A financial planner can prepare a plan for your future and help you create financial independence, whether overcoming your anxiety, setting financial goals, or understanding how to invest for your future. Many financial planners create detailed plans that cover everything from saving to investments, taxes, and personal financial planning for retirement. You can get a recommendation from a family or friend or your bank or search online for a qualified financial adviser local to you.