Irrfan Khan’s wife Sutapa Sikdar says she can’t let go of his medical files, often wonders: ‘Did I do something wrong’

It’s been two years since Irrfan Khan died of cancer, but his wife Sutapa Sikdar has not been able to part ways with his medical files. Sutapa recently revealed that she keeps reading those files and wondering if she made any mistake during his treatment. Also Read| Irrfan asked Sutapa Sikdar to make khichdi when she struggled with cooking

Irrfan died of neuroendocrine cancer on April 29, 2020, at the age of 53, two years after he revealed his diagnosis to the public. He had undergone treatment for the illness in the UK for a year and was admitted to a Mumbai hospital a day before his death for a colon infection.

In a recent conversation with Bollywood Bubble, Sutapa Sikdar recounted the shock they felt after Irrfan was diagnosed with cancer, and how he responded well to treatment before his health deteriorated. She recalled, “When we got to know, there were no symptoms. There were no symptoms and he was to leave for his shoot and there was slight uneasiness on his stomach and they got some tests done. They said ok and get some more tests done and tests tests tests… So it all happened within say 15 days. And in 15 days, we came to know that its advanced stage of neuroendocrine cancer.”

Sutapa recalled that Irrfan was initially reluctant toward chemotherapy and decided to instead live a holistic life to deal with the illness. She also opened up about the struggle she has been facing as she copes with Irrfan’s death. She said, “I want to protect myself now. Every night, I still have the whole suitcase and I can’t let those medical files go. Every night I would read them again and again thinking ‘Did I do something wrong?’”. She also recalled that she was by Irrfan’s side ‘day, night and evening’ while he was getting treated as he would refuse to have a nurse or anybody else to take care of him.

Irrfan and fellow NSD graduate Sutapa Sikdar were friends before they tied the knot in February 1995. Sutapa has two children with Irrfan- sons Babil and Ayan.