Joseph Coelho: ‘We grow through suffering. That doesn’t make it any less difficult’

1. What is your earliest memory?
   My first birthday. My cake is on the table, but I’m too small to see it. Alas, I can’t remember the cake.

2. Who was or still is your mentor?
   I discovered poetry via the performance-poetry organisation Apples and Snakes in my early twenties. Through them, I shadowed poets such as Jacob Sam-La Rose, Francesca Beard and Aoife Mannix. Their warmth, advice and talent was an inspiration. Shadowing their school sessions taught me how to run creative writing activities, and attending their workshops showed me new ways to write.

3. How fit are you?
   I started with a personal trainer last year and now, in my forties, am the strongest I’ve ever been.

4. Tell me about an animal you have loved.
   When I was a boy, I took over the care of Michael, a cousin’s budgie. We would often let him out to fly around the room. I loved his yellow and green wings and quiet demeanour. After Michael passed, I found another budgie outside, struggling to walk, as I made my way to school one morning. I took it home and attempted to nurse it back to health. This memory became the starting point of my latest book, Budgie.

5. Risk or caution, which has defined your life more?
   Definitely caution. I believe one should take risks, but facing down my fears has required work. My favourite sayings are “Beg forgiveness later”, “Do it despite the fear” and “If it won’t matter in five years’ time, it doesn’t matter now.”

6. What trait do you find most irritating in others?
   An inability to see that ego has gripped them, that rather than being present with the human in front of them, they are instead playing out a performance of ego.

7. What trait do you find most irritating in yourself?
   Those moments when I suffer from the inability to see that ego has gripped me, that rather than being present with the human in front of me, I am instead playing out a performance of ego.

8. What drives you on?
   The hope to leave the world a little better than when I entered it. A desire to provide a little comfort and insight to others through my characters, stories and worlds.

9. Do you believe in an afterlife?
   I believe we return to the oneness from which we bloomed, hopefully carrying a little of our life experience with us and adding to the eternal consciousness that I believe we are all part of. I don’t believe the egoic narratives we give ourselves live on, but the best within each of us certainly does.

10. Which is more puzzling, the existence of suffering or its frequent absence?
    Is it frequently absent? We grow through suffering . . . unfortunately, that doesn’t make it any less difficult.

11. Name your favourite river.
    The River Styx. Mythical? River to the underworld upon which only one boat rows by the light of a red moon,
    a single boat with a single oar
    grasped by a single bony hand.

12. What would you have done differently?
    Nothing. Every mistake, foible, trip-up and sting has brought me here. To go back and do anything differently would be to rub out the lesson and dishonour the learning.

Joseph Coelho, the Waterstones Children’s Laureate, is a judge for the 2023 British Book Awards. The winners are announced on May 15

Follow @FTMag on Twitter to find out about our latest stories first