Kailash Kher recalls his suicide attempt in Rishikesh: I used to feel that I was a misfit

Singer Kailash Kher, in a new interview, opened up about his suicidal attempt in the past. Last year, he shared about his dark phase during an interview with Hindustan Times. This time, he revealed how he had to struggle for years before finding his love for music which eventually made him popular across the globe. Also read: Kailash Kher says he has his own way of writing, singing: ‘I cannot praise lips and cheeks’

Kailash Kher told ANI, “I had done many odd jobs to survive. I was 20 or 21 when I started doing export business in Delhi. I used to send handicrafts to Germany. Unfortunately, all of a sudden that business collapsed. After facing several problems in business, I went to Rishikesh to become a ‘pandit’. However, I used to feel that I was a misfit there as my fellow mates were younger than me and my views never matched theirs. I was dejected as I was failing in everything..so one day I tried to commit suicide by jumping into the river Ganga,.”

“But a person at the Ghat jumped in the Ganga immediately and saved me. He asked, ‘Tairna nahin aata gaya kyu tha? (Why did you jump when you don’t know how to swim?)’ I replied, ‘Marne (to die)’…aur meri suicide ki baat jaane ke baad unhone mujhe tez ki tapli maari sar pe (after learning about my intentions of ending my life, he hit me hard on my head),” he added. He also shared that after the incident he locked himself in his room next day, without any meal. He said he kept wondering about his existence and tried communicating to God during the tough phase.

In 2022, Kailash told Hindustan Times that his suicide attempt happened when he was in his early 20s when he was sent to become a priest in Rishikesh. He said, “I was a 30-year-old man when I came to Bombay and knew life by then. But, I was in my 20s when I had failures in many other endeavours and then struggled with depression. I even attempted suicide. I must be 21 or 22, when I had such feelings that I am useless to the world and I am not supposed to be born in this time and world, this plastic world. This is what I thought at the time. I jumped in the Ganga river one day – I am a suicide survivor. Then someone saved me . It must be a miracle, but at the time I thought I must be such a useless man and failure that I even failed in this. After that, I stayed inside my room for a few days, lamenting my own failures.”

“I believe it must be mother Ganga pushing me away and sending me towards father, the sea. So I landed in at the sea shore – Bombay. The way out of such suicidal thoughts came when I stopped thinking whether I am useless or useful and concentrated on my work,” he added.

Kailash Kher has several hit tracks such as Teri Deewani, Saiyyan, Chand Sifarish, Yuhi Chala Chal Rahi, Ya Rabba and Arziyan among others under his credit.

(with inputs from ANI)

If you need support or know someone who does, please reach out to your nearest mental health specialist. Helplines: Aasra: 022 2754 6669; Sneha India Foundation: +914424640050 and Sanjivini: 011-24311918