Kalki Koechlin says it took her a year to regain her sense of self after giving birth: ‘Felt I was owned by this foetus’

Actor Kalki Koechlin has opened up about her experience of embracing motherhood and regaining a sense of normalcy after giving birth to daughter Sappho in 2020. Sappho is one-and-a-half-year-old now. In a new interview, Kalki said that it took her almost a year ‘to get back a little bit of myself’. The actor also spoke about what she thought was the ‘hardest job’.

Kalki Koechlin and her Israeli boyfriend Guy Hershberg welcomed their daughter Sappho in February 2020. Introducing her child to Instagram followers then, Kalki had posted a photo of Sappho’s footprints.

In an interview with Harper’s Bazaar India, Kalki has said, “The thing is, you end up starting from zero all over again (after giving birth). You find out who you really are, and also question your life, priorities, and what you want. The idea of a sense of self was very important to me. It took me nearly a year to get back a little bit of myself. I felt like I was owned by first, this foetus that was eating my insides, and then, by the service I had to give to this new baby, 24/7. It’s the hardest job I’ve ever done…to pick up the pieces of who I am, and to still want to be with my child. But also, knowing how to step away is really important.”

In the interview, Kalki also spoke about her wish to become ‘invisible’, “I have always wanted to be invisible. I don’t mean symbolically, I mean physically, because then I’d get to spy on people’s private lives. Not that I’m a pervert. But, you know, I’d get to know what their real intentions are. I could be a mind master and read people’s thoughts. I mean, I wouldn’t be reading them, I’d just understand their true behaviour. It’s kind of dark, but I’m an actor and I want to get inside people’s heads. I have a lot of interest in how the mind works and why it can go so wrong sometimes.”

Also Read | Kalki Koechlin shares good bits of 2021 with daughter Sappho, fans say ‘this made my day’

Kalki made her debut in Bollywood with Anurag Kashyap’s film Dev D in 2009. The Bollywood film in which she was last seen was Zoya Akhtar’s Gully Boy. The film also featured Alia Bhatt and Ranveer Singh.