Lights, Camera, Inaction: 7 local car dealerships ads

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Along with death and taxes, advertising is a certainty in this life. No matter which type of media one is trying to consume — network television, YouTube videos, songs on Spotify, even some streaming services — the ubiquitous retail commercial is nearly always present.

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This assurance was even more so in the days prior to those aforementioned on-demand platforms. Those of us on staff at Driving who still hold an active Blockbuster membership will recall the family television (likely a wood-paneled Zenith, or a floor model if you were fancy) blaring out ads both national and local during TGIF or the supper hour news. Sure, mute buttons existed in the ‘80s and ‘90s but if the remote happened to be all the way across the room next to that inflatable chair, chances were you’d just suffer through the racket.

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It’s those local ads which were often the most entertaining, be it from that home improvement place up the road or the restaurant which served quarts of gravy with every serving of french fries. Of particular interest to us, of course, were the commercials for car dealerships. Staffed with plenty of Type A personalities, most of these outlets had no trouble getting a few of their ranks in front of a camera. Acting chops, on the other hand, often left something to be desired.

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We’ve assembled a rogue’s gallery of these ads, almost of all of which have been immortalized on YouTube. This list does not include the many (superb) parodies of car ads that reside online, nor does it incorporate sales staff who’ve carved a unique niche for themselves with online personas — though we will give Mopar Brady a shout out, right here and now. Same goes for so-called ‘national ads’ produced by corporate entities and shown on a wide scale, of which there are also many hilarious and bizarre examples. Perhaps we will do a list of those at another time.

Until then, sit back and enjoy these gems of commerce — almost all of which were surely produced on a shoestring budget.

Vancouver Sea Monster

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Kicking off our list is the impetus for this article — a Vancouver-based fever dream from the 1970s (weren’t they all?). The ad manages to include some sort of sea monster being foiled from terrorizing a romantic picnic with the rubber guard from a 5-mph bumper. We should all be so lucky to have Basil Plimley in our corner.

White Bear Mitsubishi

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If finished commercials are the meat and potatoes of advertising, then outtakes are an extra helping of dessert. The crew at White Bear Mitsubishi spent ample time trying to keep their mascot on its own two feet whiele trying to drive home the dual points of good finance deals and philanthropic hockey sponsorship. We hope the person in that bear suit was wearing goalie pads — or at least a jock.

Local Character

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Anyone not from The Rock may be forgiven for failing to understand many of the words which fall out of this fictional character’s mouth during this ad. Suffice it to say, actor Mack Barfoot’s comedy persona of Clyde Crump was popular enough that this Newfoundland-born author remembers the name entering the daily lexicon back in the 1980s. And, yes, some of our accents are even thicker than this one.

Red Boots & Red Flags

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While this guy might not have x-ray vision or be able to stop an asteroid, he and his shiny red boots can apparently finagle you into a car loan. Left unmentioned are potential sky-high interest rates and the risk to one’s kneecaps if payments are not made on time. Fantastico!

Squashing Stereotypes

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Look, even the most diehard of auto industry defenders will cop to the fact that some dealers have earned their shady reputations. Of course, not all of them are bad apples and one Chevy dealer decided to lean into this narrative in high definition. The kid flossing in the background (that’s the dance, not the dental care) is an especially nice touch.

The Price is Right

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Continuing the theme of busting stereotypes, Mike Scarff Subaru in the Pacific Northwest takes aim at the notion that some dealer ads can be a bit — erm — misleading. Using a car ad to counter the typecast of car ads may be a bit Inception-esque but this professionally produced work does a good job of contrasting broad-collared actors with modern business techniques. The production house has apparently cranked out other ads for local dealers, but they’re nowhere near as entertaining.

Welcome to the Mad House

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And, sometimes, all you need to grab attention is some good old-fashioned zaniness. Witness what happens when the dealer’s namesake applies a tongue-in-cheek approach to skewer traditional aspects of automotive commercials like incentives, hackneyed comedy gags, and loud announcers. Plus, viewers can check out Garry’s deadly boxing skills in 1080p high-def.