Lupita Nyong’o on sexism, equality, and recasting male roles for women: ‘I don’t think about taking from a male figure. I think about getting what is due to me’

“I remember when I was younger, whistling, and being told that women don’t whistle,” Lupita laughs at the absurdity of the comment and shakes her head before continuing. “Just things like that are so extremely frustrating, but I’m glad I had this core and I had, my foundation which was extremely feminist. In the world as I navigate it today, I personally know that I am capable of whatever I put my mind to. Whether someone agrees with that or not is not a concern of mine.”

Despite her strong feminist foundations and much talk of more gender equality in the entertainment industry, sexist microagressions and assumptions still rear their ugly head in Lupita’s life. “Sometimes it’s just microaggressions, like tiny little things that you notice in the way a question will be posed, or an expectation. I’ve definitely been on sets and I remember going to get something to eat, and the person manning the table offering me, ‘oh, you might want the salad,’ because the assumption is because I’m an actress, I don’t eat carbs. It’s silly things like that which are really thin and subtle, but exist. I point them out when I can (because) when I think about equality or equity, I don’t think about taking from a male figure. I think about getting what is due to me.”

Sisterhood both on screen in the form of The 355 collective and off screen closer to home, have helped Lupita not only get her dues but safeguard her wellbeing too. “I’ve leaned into sisterhood the most right now,” she tells me, as we reflect on the power of female friendship. “It occurred to me that I didn’t really like how much time I spent on my own, because my job requires me to relocate a lot. So I asked one of my sisters who works virtually to basically come and live with me while I make Black Panther 2. It’s been glorious to come home to her, and have dinner with her, and explore Atlanta with her. “

As Lupita references being on her own, I wonder what she has learnt about herself over the last two years which have been punctuated with isolating lockdowns. “I’ve definitely learned that you have to move with intention, but you also have to let go, because things don’t always go according to your plan,” she replies. “I’ve grown a lot more relaxed with the change of plans in a way that I wasn’t before this pandemic came and rocked our world. I was a little bit more rigid about needing things to go a certain way and now I let go a lot easier.”

“2020 has been a real tester of everybody’s mental strength, right? I spent a whole lot of time on my own in a way that I just had never had to and I spent a lot of time thinking about what I needed to do to remain healthy,” Lupita continues. “I got into really good habits like meditating, and going on walks without navigation, which was one of my favourite things to do. I just leave and find my way back. I also just allowed myself to be present and also practice gratitude. Before every meal, I express out loud three things that I’m grateful for. It really reminded me, even on a tough day when you really, really don’t feel like there’s anything you can be grateful for, just forcing myself to think about something I’m grateful for helps. Sometimes I’m just grateful to have electricity!”