Making a case for #SquadGoals: Life Hacks by Charles Assisi

Brainstormers: These are people with more wisdom and experience than me. Smita Krishnan, my former zoology professor, tops this list because when I solemnly confessed to her that I had a crush on a classmate and it was hurting my grades, she heard me out and, rather than telling me what to do, helped me to find the way forward myself. I now turn to her for advice on parenting. She hears me out and offers advice only when she thinks I need it.

Also topping this list is Indrajit Gupta, my co-founder at Founding Fuel, at whom I throw my wildest ideas. He too hears me out and allows me tinker with the thoughts in my head, as he quietly draws boundaries ensuring I don’t overstep.

Challengers: What feedback should I ignore? What tough conversations am I postponing? Why? No one had asked me such questions until the Delhi-based life coach Vivek Singh entered my life. He pushes me to think about all that I don’t like to face up to. This forces me to think about what I want, and crystallise ideas of what I am chasing and why. I now acknowledge far more clearly that my top three goals are family, health and money (because money matters a great deal more than many of us will admit).

In much the same way, my colleague NS Ramnath questions all assumptions I hold about technology, a space I believe that I understand deeply. He compels me to wander down pathways of thought I hadn’t earlier seen or explored.

Financial advisors: My approach to a retirement fund should have been to put away a slice of my earnings each month, invest across instruments, and end up a crorepati by my late-40s. But it wasn’t. I know now, with the benefit of hindsight, that I should have listened to voices such as that of my friend CS Swaminathan, whom I now work with closely as well. He is my go-to person for financial-planning advice, along with Santosh Nair, editor of CNBC-TV18 and author of Bulls, Bears and other Beasts.

Health professionals: To be truly healthy, one must understand oneself at a fundamental level. That’s why I find talking to a psychologist vital. My go-to person for a few years now has been Kuldeep Datay. In my time with him, I get to expel all that’s building up in the mind and I get an outsider perspective of the frame of mind I’m in.

I also actively seek advice from Dr Rajat Chauhan, a sport-medicine specialist whose exercise regimen when practiced religiously is nothing short of life-changing.

Explorers: What is it about the world that you’re curious about and don’t understand? Is someone at work on the cutting edge of that domain, looking at the world from an altogether different perspective? I am lucky to have close friends embedded in the pure sciences and working, for instance, at the intersection of computing and neurobiology. Listening to them talk is akin to exploring another universe.

Reverse mentors: Never stop listening to young people. Engaging with those of another generation is invigorating. That is why I pleaded with my alma mater for a chance to teach. I now teach modules in journalism at my former college. And while there are things I can share with the youngsters, I’m also seeing gaining reverse mentors, people a generation younger who can teach me about the world as they engage with and view it. This is very different from staying connected with my kids, because reverse mentors offer worldviews set in entirely different contexts and life experiences, and that is a vital link in the endless chain of learning and teaching.

Sages: Sometimes, for the best perspective, one must head home. That is why I like listening to my mum talk about her life, my past, all that she has seen, loved, lost and reclaimed. She speaks of people whose dreams were snuffed out. Why did that happen? She offers context when I might be getting swept away. I listen carefully. Because few people in the world know me as she does. And even her sternest voice is filled with caring.

(The writer is co-founder at Founding Fuel & co-author of The Aadhaar Effect)