DEAR MISS MANNERS: It strikes me as unseemly when people applaud at the kiss during wedding ceremonies. When I watch old movies, I never see that happen. It appears to have started sometime in the ’80s or ’90s.
Applause seems more suited to a performance than to a ceremony.
Am I mistaken that this is a new pattern? Or have people always applauded the kiss in a wedding?
GENTLE READER: No, it only dates from when couples stopped considering their weddings to be serious ceremonies and started thinking of them as opportunities to put on a show starring themselves and done in front of an audience.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: In the days when human beings sorted the mail and students were taught to write in beautiful script, a hand-addressed envelope was correct.
But now the beleaguered post office depends on computers to read the addresses. I would prefer to receive a “thank you” note with a computer-generated label than to have it sent to the wrong address because the computer could not read the chicken scratches on the envelope.
This point of etiquette must change. Typed or computer-printed addresses are now the kindest, and the preference of the U.S. Postal Service. If the address is handwritten, some have suggested that the words be printed, not written in longhand, and that only capital letters be used.
GENTLE READER: Even Miss Manners cannot dispute the need for an address to be legible to those responsible for delivering it. The Postal Service does still accept handwritten envelopes, but she sadly acknowledges that this will probably not last — especially as handwriting is rarely taught properly, or at all.
Personally, she will continue to address letters by hand as long as the service will tolerate it.
Knowing the pleasure of a rare letter that is not computer-generated, she hopes those who are able will at least not extend the efficiency argument to anything personal that the envelope contains.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My fiancee and I each received an emailed invitation for a New Year’s Day brunch at her parents’ home.
We received this on Dec. 16. We live across the country from her parents and are visiting them for Christmas, from Dec. 22 to Dec. 27.
Given the short time frame and the fact that we are already spending a decent amount of time around the holidays with them, this strikes me as odd. I thought that the e-vite was rude, but my fiancee disagrees.
I do not generally receive invitations from family or friends in other parts of the country unless they know that I will be in the area around that time, or that I am considering doing so.
GENTLE READER: You should let this one go. Your fiancee, who presumably can judge her parents’ intentions, has told you that they meant well.
Miss Manners doesn’t even know your in-laws, but she can think of benign reasons for their invitation: to show you that you would be welcome if you changed your travel arrangements, or to consider you welcome at any family occasion.
In any case, invitations — unless they are to “go to the devil” — are not insults.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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