Miss Manners: Her hair is ridiculous, and I refuse to make the same mistake

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My mother-in-law, in her 80s, has been dyeing her hair increasingly bright colors since the day she noticed her first gray strand.

Frankly, I think she looks ridiculous, but she thinks she is the sexiest thing walking the face of the Earth, and of course I would never tell her otherwise.

She is happy. It is none of my business.

I have reached the age where I am beginning to go gray, and I am fine with this. I have never been one to pretend I am something that I am not, and I am no longer a young girl. I intend, to the best of my ability, to age with dignity and grace, and to embrace the beauty of every stage of life.

I have no intention of coloring my hair, ever. But my mother-in-law cannot leave it alone. She says I look ancient, that I am letting myself go, and if I would just dye my hair like hers, we could look like sisters. (Not one of my goals.)

How can I get her to accept that I am content with my appearance and not interested in coloring my hair, without telling her she looks like she set her head on fire?

GENTLE READER: “No, we still wouldn’t look like sisters. You’re so modern, and I couldn’t possibly keep up with you. I’d just look silly trying.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I received a save-the-date from my nephew. His father, my brother, told me it’s a small wedding. I figured as much, since my kids, the groom’s cousins, hadn’t received an invitation.