Miss Manners: I backed out of a possibly life-changing meeting with a powerful man. Was that a mistake?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A few years ago, a prominent man in my industry was in town, and in a position to work with me. It would have been a career-making opportunity — and, to be frank, he was influential enough to damage my career, as well, if he so chose.

He explained that he would be otherwise occupied all day and could only meet me at his hotel after 10 p.m. He would be leaving the following day, so he could only see me then, face to face, to discuss working together.

I was understandably reluctant, yet he insisted the meeting could only be at his hotel. This seemed like something of a red flag. I could not find someone to accompany me, and my friends all urged me not to go under the circumstances.

I ended up declining and have always had some painful feelings about it. My discomfort with being placed in that position tainted what limited interactions we had after that.

Even if the visit had been uneventful, he’s a married man, and had we been seen together at that time of night at his hotel, it would have led to speculation and done harm to both our professional reputations.