DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a friend who asks me from time to time to go shopping with her. Neither of us has a car, so we use public transit, and always eat out where we shop.
The trouble is, she finds a problem with everything — from the driver of the bus to whatever she has ordered at the restaurant. At a restaurant, for example, she will order more biscuits or a to-go drink after the bill has been presented.
She is very loud and repetitive about making her case known. She will keep repeating herself over the person in charge, confusing them and blaming them.
I have told her that her complaints would be more effective if she did not scream repeatedly at the staff, and also that it is wrong to order food after the bill arrives. But she says they expect this, as she has waitress experience — which amounts to about six months over the course of her 58 years.
It has left me not wanting to go shopping with her at all.
Other than this behavior, I love her conversation and company. Any ideas on how to deal with her?
GENTLE READER: Well, not by shopping or eating out, as Miss Manners trusts that you have learned.
Why don’t the two of you go fishing together? Or hiking in the mountains? Or skydiving? Then you could enjoy each other’s conversation without causing collateral damage.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: In social settings, is it OK to finish a conversation and walk away when doing so leaves the other person awkwardly alone?
I was chatting with someone I did not know at a party. After about 20 minutes of pleasant conversation, I used a pause to say I was going to refresh my drink and asked if the man would like one himself. He said no, and I walked away and joined friends in another room. He was left sitting alone, and I felt a bit guilty.
I know I’m not obligated to sit with him until someone else joins us, which may not happen, but is there a better way to leave?
GENTLE READER: The only people who never have such awkward moments — being stuck talking to the same person or being left adrift — are people who refuse to attend these types of parties. And Miss Manners cannot say that she blames them.
Had another guest been on the loose in the vicinity, it would have been graceful for you to nab a substitute as you left. But such is not always the case, and your excuse, which implied that the gentleman could have accompanied you to the bar, or that you would have been willing to come back to him with a drink had he wanted one, was polite.
Such parties are hazardous, and the hosts should be on the lookout to draw people together. But there is only so much guests can do to rescue one another.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
Stay connected with us on social media platform for instant update click here to join our Twitter, & Facebook
We are now on Telegram. Click here to join our channel (@TechiUpdate) and stay updated with the latest Technology headlines.
For all the latest Lifestyle News Click Here
