Miss Manners: My guests were rude about my plan to serve beans

DEAR MISS MANNERS: During the particularly dark and dreary days of winter, I invited two couples to our home for an evening of chili and board games.

I planned to serve an excellent white chicken chili that won my company’s chili cook-off. (I worked for a large company and there was stiff competition! It was a pretty big deal for me at the time.)

One of the couples — both the husband and the wife — took time separately to ask me if I was seriously planning to serve beans when they came over. I tried to explain to the wife that it was my award-winning chili and that she would, hopefully, love it. She gave me a wilted look and said, “Really? Beans?”

I served a lasagna instead and vowed never to invite these rude people to my home again.

I think the only appropriate response to a dinner invitation is to graciously accept or decline. The only exception is if there is a dietary condition that must be accommodated. Am I right, or am I being overly sensitive?

GENTLE READER: Having declared your menu ahead of time, you were under no obligation to change it based on your friends’ critique. If they did not wish to eat beans, they could have declined. But Miss Manners agrees with your determination not to give them that chance.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My friend and I both have babies. When I was at her house and needed to change my baby’s diaper, I asked if I could use her baby’s changing table. She seemed a little surprised, but said yes.