Miss Manners: They imply I wouldn’t have to use a cane if I worked out more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have had serious back issues over the years, including several surgeries, and had a hip replaced several months ago.

Since then, despite rigorous physical therapy and home exercise, I have been forced to use a cane. It helps me walk without a significant limp and also helps keep me upright when standing, as I am not quite as steady on my feet as I (and my doctors) would like. I remain in fairly serious pain if I have to stand for more than a few minutes.

My issue isn’t the cane — or the pain, for that matter — but the fact that, over and over and over again, people ask me why I am using a cane.

While I am tired of the health questions in general, what really bothers me is when I reply that I had hip replacement surgery, they often ask how long ago. When I begrudgingly tell them “six months ago,” I inevitably get the response, “Well, you shouldn’t still need a cane!” followed by a description of their own experience with hip replacement (“I was walking without a cane in two weeks! You need to do physical therapy!”) or some similar experience of their friend or family member.

This is often followed by other fun, probing questions like, “Who did your surgery? Was it their first time?” or comments like, “You must not be working hard enough at recovery!”