Nikki Haley Channels Inner Trump — Suggests Secret Service Cocaine Cover-Up

Former South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley made an appearance at the Family Leadership Summit — a parade of Republican 2024 hopefuls — in Iowa on Friday, where she channeled the most notable no-show, Donald Trump. 

Haley sat down for a discussion with former Fox News host Tucker Carlson, during which she suggested that the Secret Service was covering up the owner of a dime bag of cocaine that was discovered at the White House earlier this month. 

Besides being an unfounded accusation, it’s also completely unoriginal. Former President Trump has been attempting to connect the Biden family to the drugs since virtually the moment they were discovered. 

“I strongly believe this is a cover-up,” Haley told Carlson. “For either Hunter [Biden], or someone very close to the President and they don’t want to say who it is.”  

Haley claimed that the Secret Service, which conducted the investigation, was misleading the public about the level of access the public had to the area in which the coke was found. 

“I have been into that area of the White House,” Haley said, to which Carlson exclaimed “AND IT’S PARTY TIME!”

“I know the area where the locker is. People don’t just go in and out of there. It is either the president, the vice president, cabinet members, or deputy directors. Nobody else is going in there,” Haley said. Notably, the list Haley gave did not include members of the President’s family. 

Despite a review of visitor logs, surveillance footage, and even attempts to collect forensic evidence from the bag, the Secret Service announced earlier this week that they could not conclusively identify at what time, and by who, the baggie was placed in the cubby where it was found. 

“Without physical evidence, the investigation will not be able to single out a person of interest from the hundreds of individuals who passed through the vestibule where the cocaine was discovered,” the organization wrote in a statement. 

Haley’s assertions had an uncanny similarity to Trump’s Truth Social posts about the matter. Earlier this week, Trump wrote that the Secret Service “100% KNOW WHO IT IS. If they don’t release information, it means they destroyed the tapes & the Cocaine was for use by Hunter, & probably Crooked Joe, in order to give this total disaster of a President a little life and energy!” 

Someone get this man a diet coke.