Patterns in dysfunctional family dynamics: Psychologist shares insights

Being born and brought up in dysfunctional families can affect our adult relationships and the person we become in future. When we are brought in between daily trauma, our bodies get into survival mode of fight or flight. This further makes us be people-pleasing or silent in life, which further affects us mentally, emotionally and physically. Being brought up in a dysfunctional family and undergoing the trauma of fight on a daily basis can be extremely tiring. However, when we start the journey of self-healing, the most important thing to know is to understand how the dynamics work.

Psychologist Nicole LePera addressed the patterns in dysfunctional families and explained how it affects us and impacts our growth. Take a look:

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Denial: In dysfunctional families we grow denial as our coping mechanism, which further makes us have difficulties in taking up personal responsibilities or address conflict in a healthy manner. It also makes us unable to have uncomfortable conversations and find solutions.

Criticism: We are always criticised by our families and parents, which further grows in us an innate feeling of being imperfect. This makes us self-criticise ourselves and think that we are not good enough for anything.

Immaturity: Being in dysfunctional families make us have emotional immaturity, which further makes us unable to have healthy adult relationships and have unhealthy patterns of controlling others and hacing unrealistic expectations.

Negativity: We are always filled with so much negativity that we tend to lose motivation or interest in everything. We grow up to have extreme negative perspectives on life.

Neglect: As children when our needs and wants are neglected, we grow up to be adults with shame for having needs. We also become people=pleasing and learn to put others first always.

Communication: In dysfunctional families, we are not taught to communicate our feelings – when we grow up, we are unable to communicate. This makes us shut down or dissociate from the situation.

Abuse: We tend to believe that abuse is normal, this further makes us controlling and nagging as partners.