Sometimes people show emotional unavailability for the people around them. This can stem from a lot of experiences – from a past trauma to having the fear of attachment, “This can stem from a traumatic event, an unhealed attachment wound, fear of vulnerability, feelings of shame, and so much more. It can show up in behaviors like lack of empathy, becoming defensive often, blaming others, lack of trust, etc. You can be an emotionally unavailable romantic partner, friend, or parent. If you recognise these patterns in someone you’re pursuing, instead of trying to change them, adjust the way you interact with them – set clear boundaries and manage your expectations,” wrote Therapist Sadaf Siddiqi as she explained the patterns in behavior that show emotional unavailability.
Making dismissive comments: When someone shares something meaningful with us, we often end up making dismissive comments at them or prefer to not validate their emotions. This is a classic sign of being emotionally unavailable.
Ghosting: When we randomly cut people off from our lives without reason or letting them know, we are trying to run away from the situations that involve us being vulnerable.
Avoiding topics: Topics that demand vulnerability and emotional expressions from us are thoroughly avoided by us because we do not know how to show our emotions.
Discomfort: when we try to address our own emotions, we feel extreme discomfort about it.
Lack of responsiveness: When people close to us show their emotions to us, we do not know how to respond to the same. Hence, there is a visible absence of emotions from our end.
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