We all have had good or bad dating experiences. Dating can be a thrilling, romantic experience. It’s also a complex developing relationship that requires careful consideration and attention to detail as you get to know one another over time. Here are tips which you can follow for healthy dating experiences. (Also read: Relationship tips: 4 rituals to deepen intimacy in your relationship )
Sharon Peykar, Licensed Psychotherapist & Relationship Educator, shared 7 tips for healthier dating recently on her Instagram profile.
1. Focus on shared values, not shared traumas
A first date is not a therapy session & shared trauma is not a sign of compatibility. Be wary of sharing trauma early on as a way to create a false sense of closeness with dating partners.
2. Dating goals include how you show up
The goal of dating isn’t to be liked by everyone you meet or to fill a vacancy. Focus your dating goals on how you show up, not on the outcome: be proactive, show curiosity & listen to assess for compatibility.
3. Stay honest with yourself
When you witness contradictory words or behaviors from yourself, pay close attention. Misalignment can mean we aren’t being true to ourselves. Don’t pretend not to see your own red flags & inconsistencies.
4. Feelings aren’t fact
Anxiety can mean we’re feeling excitement, fear, or uncertainty. Be curious about where it’s coming from without judging it as “good” or “bad.” Sometimes we need more information before acting on our emotions.
5. Connect to yourself
Learn what helps you stay connected to yourself in the dating process. This can look like writing out how we feel in between or after going on dates, practicing deep breathing exercises & any other outlets that help soothe the nervous system.
6. Don’t force yourself to choose
Just because you’ve always had a “type” doesn’t mean you have to keep choosing it. We can be attracted & intrigued by emotionally unavailable partners and choose not to pursue them. Learn to discern the type of people who bring out the best in you.
7. Don’t have unrealistic expectations
Meet people where they are, not where you want them to be. Be wary of projecting qualities or unrealistic expectations onto a dating partner that they might not have or be able to fulfill in the early stages of dating.
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