Shirley Ballas: ‘I’ve given most of my dance trophies away’

Strictly is so glamorous that I like to unwind by wearing zero makeup and a sloppy tracksuit. How else? I go to yoga. I light candles in the bathroom and soak in the tub. I walk in the park with Charlie, my Lhasa Apso. My mum, Audrey, is 85 and lives with me, and we like to snuggle up in bed and watch murder mysteries.

I grew up on the Leasowe housing estate in Merseyside. Most people got paid on a Friday – by Wednesday nobody had any money. People would borrow a bowl of sugar. Everybody joined together to help whoever needed it. There was a strong sense of community.

A day out with my mother was a special treat. After saving up, we would go to Marks & Spencer’s – which still is her favourite store – to buy a treat or a little jumper or something. Littlewoods was less expensive, so we’d go in there, but always end up in Marks. The most gorgeous day.

My mother is Queen Bee and quite bossy. She’s not as forgiving as I am, but she has a beautifully kind heart. She raised my son, Mark (now a dancer on the American show Dancing with the Stars), from age two to 21 whenever I was travelling for my dance career. I like to think he got that beautiful side of her, but also a sharp, prickly side from me. Everybody needs a prickly side – so you’re not walked over.

My biggest regret? That my second marriage, to my son’s father (Corky Ballas) didn’t work. If you could go back and do things again, I’d probably do things differently. If you’re young when you get married it’s extremely difficult.

I’m a Christian, so I believe in God. I read the Bible when I have time, though I don’t get to church very often, and I feel guilty when I can’t. Faith is a personal thing; I feel blessed to have that spirit with me. It helps. When my brother, David, died [he took his own life, aged 44, in December 2003], my faith helped me to find a road to recovery, the road to a higher end.

David’s death was devastating. It taught me that the materialistic things in life are not important. When my father died the loss I felt was different. I was never a daddy’s girl, and he wasn’t around in the moments I needed him. But he’s still your dad and you love him very much. But the loss of my brother is the great hole in my life. He was beyond anything I could ever describe to anybody.

A healthy relationship is supportive. Danny (Taylor, the theatre actor) and I might not see each other for months, but we make it work with FaceTime, daily communication and little messages.

My favourite indulgence is a spa visit. I would love to go for four days and just have gels and facials and body scrubs and whirlpools and cold plunges and saunas. I also like to be whipped with those Russian sticks.

I gave most of my dance trophies away to venues and championships that couldn’t afford trophies for the children or medals for the them. It’s more important to me that somebody else benefits. I have the memories.

Strictly Come Dancing continues next Saturday on BBC One and BBC iPlayer