Signs of an emotionally immature partner in a relationship

Being emotionally mature is a skill that we pick up from the way we are brought up by our parents, caregivers and families. When we are brought up in dysfunctional homes where we had to suppress our own emotional needs to tend to others and to maintain peace at home, we grow up to be adults who are not able to create healthy spaces within their own adult relationships. However, families with open communication, and the ability to repair the damage after a conflict raise children who grow up to be adults who are emotionally mature.

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However, even emotional immaturity can be fixed. Psychologist Nicole LePera wrote, “ALL of us can become more emotionally mature. We can develop the skills and emotional regulation to navigate life in new ways.” She further noted down a few signs of understanding if we are with an emotionally immature partner:

Emotionally explosive: Emotionally immature people do not know how to process difficult emotions such as anger. Hence, they choose to react to such situations instantly, rather than responding to it mindfully.

Shaming: Shaming is a classic move of an emotionally immature person who keeps making you feel bad for being able to express your emotions, just because they are not able to.

Child-like attitude: They cannot handle situations in a mature way when they do not go according to their plan.

Personal attack: They see everything as a way of personal attack and get offended by the slightest things.

Ignorance: They like to procrastinate on taking actions against the problems. Emotional immaturity is about avoiding problems and hoping for it to go away on its own, rather than addressing it.

Relationship perspective: They cannot deal with problems in a relationship. They always want to get things easy and snip at the slightest inconvenience.

History: They have a history of dysfunctional relationships, because they try to get out of things as soon as they start to get difficult.

Appearance: Emotionally immature people are obsessed with the appearance of making their relationship and life look perfect for others.