Signs that you were raised by a father with unresolved trauma

Generational trauma can be passed down to the children by their parents, if they are not able to address them at the correct time, in the correct ways. However, we can stop the generational trauma cycles with a little introspect on how it trickled down on us, and by watching our parents as human beings with their own unresolved issues. Some of us are raised in dysfunctional homes with a lot of unresolved traumas that came to be a part of us through childhood and into our adulthood. When we are raised by fathers with unaddressed trauma, it reflects on the upbringing that we receive.

“Many of us were raised by men with unresolved trauma, low self-worth and emotional immaturity. It’s helpful to see all parent figures as human to understand the way they’ve impacted the way you cope today and the patterns you engage in. How our fathers treated us has nothing to do with us. It’s a reflection of their relationship with themselves and the parenting they received,” explained Psychologist Nicole LePera.

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She further noted down a few signs that show that our fathers have unresolved trauma:

Grudges: They often speak of the dysfunctionalities and the grudges he has against people in his family. This reflects the upbringing he received as a child.

Intimate details: They often share details that are too intimate to be shared with a child.

Affection: Fathers with unresolved trauma are unable to share any kind of physical affection. They also avoid having emotionally vulnerable conversations.

Shaming: For these fathers, being emotional and showing it is a crime. They often shame their children for being vulnerable.

Presence: They are extremely volatile in nature and their presence is chaotic, full of unpredictability.

Criticism: They are extremely critical of the physical appearance of their close family members, especially their wife and children.

Security: Their presence does not give a sense of security as they are extremely unpredictable in nature and are known to have unexpected mood swings.