Suffering from low mood after great sex? It could be ‘post-coital dysphoria’

Sex can be responsible for some of the biggest highs of our lives – but in some people’s cases, it accounts for some low moments as well.

Once the initial blissful aftermath of sex wears off, have you ever been met with feelings of sadness, anger or anxiety? Turns out it’s an actual bodily response to sex and is completely normal – and it’s called post-coital dysphoria.

It’s a part of the human sexual response cycle, which is comprised of four stages: excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution. Post-coital dysphoria can be part of your “resolution” phase.

Understanding this condition fully is key, so GLAMOUR asked sexologist Emilie Lavinia all the questions that you need answered.

What exactly is post-coital dysphoria?

“Post-coital dysphoria – or PCD – is a strange but relatively common phenomenon that can lead us to experience intense feelings of sadness, loneliness and anxiety after sex,” Emilie explains. “It’s well documented but relatively understudied, featuring in historical writings from Ancient Greek interpretations on sexual health to religious texts, famous love letters to great works of romantic fiction.”

There can be many causes of PCD, so it’s really worth knowing the different types, and which ones are causes for concern.

“Post-sex blues are a natural bodily response, due to peaking and dipping hormones before, during and after sexual activity. You can have the best sex of your life, total mental relaxation and bodily pleasure and still feel sad, unsettled and moved to tears afterwards.

“It can be caused by hormones, mental stimulators like memory, sensual and physical triggers like scent, the way you’re being touched, your surroundings, energy levels and your mental state at the time of sexual activity.” 

It’s really important to ask yourself whether any symptoms of PCD may be stemming from something more serious and personal, Emilie advises.

“But PCD can also be caused by mental associations with sex such as societal shame, fear and regret, trauma stored in the body and other psychological factors that could be dependent on circumstance or longer-term issues,” she says. “It’s usually an involuntary feeling that takes hold after you’ve been intimate with another person.”

Is post-coital dysphoria more common in women?

Yes, but for complex reasons. “PCD is more common in women than it is with men but this is arguably due to a mix of  internalised shame and fear associated with sex, women being historically more likely to worry about sex and regret its consequences,” Emilie says. 

“And due to hormonal peaks and troughs throughout the menstrual cycle which can increase sensitivity and emotional responses to intimacy. Pregnancy and menopause can also create a greater likelihood of experiencing PCD.”

That said, men can also experience post-coital dysphoria, and it’s important not to generalise and assume otherwise.

“‘Post-nut clarity’ is a more palatable and perhaps less shameful phrase that’s been adopted to describe men’s experience of PCD Simply being over tired can be enough to nudge anyone toward the brink of tears after sex.”

If you’re experiencing post-coital dysphoria, how can you best take care of yourself?

“If you’re experiencing PCD there are plenty of ways to tip the emotional scales in favour of more positive feelings,” Emilie advises.