The College Admission Tyranny

I have spent my career as a high school counselor, forming relationships with admission officers from every type of college and university. I know how tough their job is, how caring and committed they are, and how much student joy and success mean to them. At the same time, I am troubled by the tyranny that the college admission process holds, and its destructive influence upon all too many young people.

At a time when teenage mental health is in crisis, the fear, obsession, and anxiety that college admission elicits is especially concerning. My job affords me a front-row seat to what is increasingly a tragic litany of ailments: social media, suicide, bullying, gun violence, loneliness, hopelessness, and more. In many communities, admission to college also looms over teenage wellness like a dark cloud. Instead, it ought to be a bright light of opportunity and hope.

The Tyranny of the Shoulds

Selective college admission convinces many students of the need for perfection. But a similar tyranny is something they impose from within. It is the tyranny of the shoulds. Contrary to perception, the reality is that students have a great deal of control over college admission. Control begets choice and often choice can lead to doubt. Any school counselor will tell you that they hear the same questions repeated year after year. Here are but a few:

Should I get a job?

Should I take another advanced course?

Should I find an internship?

Should I join another club?

Should I take the AP course and risk getting a lower grade?

Should I take a test prep course?

Should I volunteer?

Should I apply Early Decision?

Should I continue playing my sport?

The tyranny of the shoulds can have an outsized influence on the lives of students and their families, but at what cost?

Is the Juice Worth the Squeeze?

I had not heard this saying until a colleague used it this spring, but it is a perfect framing question for college admission. Are the effort that a student expends and the choices they make worth the result? The truth is that students can do back flips, tie themselves in knots and spend hours, days, weeks, months, or years of their young lives devoted to an activity or pursuit and still be denied by the college of their dreams. The reality of selective college admission is such that priorities may shift and suddenly what a school is seeking in applicants looks very different. Despite the control students have over how they spend their time, they have no agency when it comes to what colleges want. It is a fool’s errand trying to predict what will be the deciding factors that lead to an acceptance.

The most selective colleges in the country—the small cadre with single-digit acceptance rates that receive disproportionate attention—can admit full classes of students with flawless grades and test scores. In fact, they could do this multiple times over in any given year. Whether applying to one of these schools, or to a college that accepts a higher percentage of applicants, students must be clear about why they have set their sights on that institution. Is it reputation, program, location, community, outcomes, cost, or some combination of these factors? What is the experience that they seek in college and what will success look like for them? The answers will likely change over time, but this is the juice. Hopefully, applicants will understand that it can be made at any number of colleges or universities. The question remains, is it worth the squeeze?

Overthrowing Tyranny

So, what should you do in high school to prepare for college and maximize your chances of admission? Knowing that you don’t control the decisions colleges make, how much are you willing to squeeze and feel squeezed? A question I encourage students to ask themselves is this:

“If I make this choice and I do not get into the college(s) that I am hoping to, will I still be glad I made it?”

Do what is meaningful and what will be rewarding for you. Some students might challenge themselves with a more advanced course, join a club, or work a job. Others might carve out more time for family or exercise. Instead of asking what you should do, consider what you want to do and what will help you grow and make you a more fulfilled person.

Ultimately, the most important priority ought to be protecting your well-being and sense of balance. No college acceptance is worth sacrificing your health and happiness. There are many schools where you can thrive and that will value a balanced and purposeful applicant. How do you spend your time and is it nourishing or depleting? The non-profit organization, Challenge Success has developed a time management worksheet that helps students and their supporters take account of commitments and plan accordingly. No matter how you organize your life in high school, embrace opportunities and set high aspirations, but resist tyrannical pressures that will squeeze the life and joy out of you.