The good, bad and LAUGHABLE of hangover cures

For as long as people have been brewing alcohol, they have been searching for a cure to the ills brought on by the night before.

When you are in the grip of the hangover from hell, featuring a pounding head, gut-wrenching nausea and a desperate need to dive back under the doona, you’d pay almost any price for someone to “please God, make it stop”.

And all many people want to know is, what works? Well, to put it simply — don’t drink, or don’t drink so much.

But that can be easier said than done in peak party season. But what works? Well, that’s actually simple – and it works every time – don’t drink, or don’t drink so much.

But that can be easier said than done in peak party season.

The old wives would have us believe that rubbing a slice of lemon under our armpits, wearing flowers in our hair, drinking vinegar or even ox blood would see us right.

If you cannot remember things that happened last night, that’s an indication that you have done some cognitive damage

These days the cures are fancier, and most of the time just as ineffective.

But there are glimmers of hope that the holy grail of a hangover cure may be within reach.

A review of interventions for preventive treatments in 2017 found several products were capable of significantly improving some of the symptoms related to having one too many.

Polysaccharide-rich extract of Acanthopanax senticosus, red ginseng anti-hangover drink, Korean pear juice, an ancient Chinese remedy known as KSS formula, and food supplement After-Effect were all credited with helping clear heads.

The internet is full of options inviting you to drink, vape, inject and wear your way to normality but sorting out what actually works and what is just a clever marketing ploy isn’t easy.

The Therapeutic Goods Administration advises people to be cautious of any remedies sold online as they may not be approved for use in Australia, and you could be risking a fine.

A spokesperson said there are currently no “registered” hangover relief products on the Australian Register of Therapeutic Goods – a classification that requires a detailed evaluation of efficacy.

Hangover relief products are typically regulated as low-risk “listed” medicines, and may only include ingredients from a pre-approved list that the TGA considers to be relatively safe. These products are only allowed to make claims related to low-level health benefits, also from a pre-approved list.

Regardless, whatever your budget, there is a company trying to flog you a way to beat alcohol’s downside.

You can pick up a pouch of Bae Juice, which is pure Korean pear, from your local supermarket for about $4. Or if you’d like to wear your post-party medicine, Lifebio offers an After Party Patch for about $32. The Lime Tree Clinic in Nedlands even offers an anti-hangover IV drip with an electrolyte and magnesium solution from $79.

Steve Allsop, director of the National Drug Research Institute, remains sceptical, but not completely unconvinced of these “cures”.

He said the reasons why we get a hangover in the first place is still not completely understood, with multiple factors playing into why we feel so awful the morning after.

“If we can’t identify the one thing that causes a hangover, I can’t imagine how anyone can invent one thing that addresses all those issues,” he said.

Alcohol is metabolised into the toxic acetaldehyde, which can make you flushed, sweaty, nauseous and give you heart palpitations.

Alcohol is also a diuretic so it can leave you severely dehydrated. Add in a warm evening and plenty of dancing, and that’s a recipe for feeling unwell.

Professor Allsop says it was likely a combination of these factors, and others, that were to blame for hangovers.

“A hangover is your body’s way of saying ‘you drank too much, drink less next time’.”

Sadly, there’s not enough evidence to prove one approach to dealing with the morning horrors is any better than another.

“Lack of evidence doesn’t mean something doesn’t work … there may be things that help. If you find something works for you great. However the best way to avoid a hangover is drink less.”

And if you are considering resorting to the old hangover favourite, hair of the dog, Professor Allsop had clear advice – don’t.

“If you cannot remember things that happened last night, that’s an indication that you have done some cognitive damage … and then you take more alcohol? You’re mad. You’re actually making a bad situation worse and increasing the chance that you will become alcohol dependent,” he said.

The best advice? Be prepared before you head out.

“Before you start reaching for the magic cure have plenty of water before you go and between every drink have a small glass of water and have food before you go or eat while you’re drinking,” Professor Allsop said.