The toxic cycle of an unhealthy relationship

A relationship requires a lot of understanding, the willingness to be there for each other and to embrace imperfections, no matter what. However, a relationship can become toxic as well. Usually, it is determined by a cycle of actions when the people involved are not ready to show up for each other but are also not able to remove themselves from the relationship for a better future. “One of the most important things to understand about toxic cycles (that isn’t discussed nearly enough) is that they are incredibly addictive in nature! One of the second most important things to understand is that they are generally rooted in unprocessed traumas,” wrote Therapist Elizabeth Fedrick as she spoke of the steps of a toxic cycle of an unhealthy relationship.

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Heightened state of love: The relationship starts with the step where we feel that it is the heightened state of love and affection from the other person.

Triggers: The next step is the triggers – it usually works in a cycle where one partner gets triggered, and the way he/she reacts to the situation triggers the other person.

Tension: The triggers and the reaction to them lead to a state of tension in the relationship.

Rupture: When the tension reaches its peak in some time, it leads to a rupture – hurtful things being said and conflicts.

Threats: One of the most important parts of the toxic cycle is the way the partners threaten each other to end the relationship, instead of finding ways to fix things.

Cravings: Eventually the people get together because of the craving to be with each other.

Pursuing: It starts with one partner pursuing the other and the other partner agreeing to get back in the relationship.

Resuming the relationship: Even though the relationship gets resumed, the conflicts are not resolved, and hence, the cycle continues.