In relationships, we often need to take decisions with our partner. This can involve big decisions, life-changing decisions as well as small decisions about relationships and daily lives. However, taking decisions can be tricky because it demands that we find a common ground which we both can agree on. For people who have insecure attachments, this can be more difficult as they are extremely strict in the ways that they things to be. “Making decisions together is often one of the most challenging aspects of being in a relationship, especially for people with insecure attachments who tend be either overly rigid in their ways, or overly flexible. Finding the middle isn’t always easy, but it always starts with quality communication. Healthy communication will have far more impact on the quality of your life than the outcome of most decisions. Here are some tips for how to navigate your differences without compromising safety and connection,” wrote Relationship Expert Julie Menanno as she explained the things that we must remember while making decisions in a relationship.
Teamwork: We need to understand that it is not us versus the partner. We are both in the same team and we should take decisions keeping in mind the comfort of both of us.
Outcome: If the decision is taken in such a way that one of the people is disappointed with the result, we need to address it. However, if it causes resentment in the long term, we need to communicate the same with the partner and find an alternate way out.
Conversations: We need to be patient with decisions. Big decisions demand multiple conversations and not just one.
Facts: instead of trying to convince the partner to stick to the decision that is in favour of us, we should communicate the facts, feelings and emotions for them to understand.
Validate: While we prioritise our needs, we should also equally validate the needs and emotions of the partner.
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