Things we are allowed to expect in a relationship

A relationship takes a lot of effort and understanding from both ends to make it work. Understanding the needs, wants and expectations of the people involved in the relationship are important to create a healthy space for the relationship to thrive. Honesty, trust and communication form the foundation blocks of a healthy, safe and secure relationship. Sometimes we get confused thinking if we are expecting too much from the relationship. While it is important that we do not have unfair expectations from the other person, we should also be sure to not push our own needs and priorities far away to be with the other person. “You are allowed to have expectations- and should have expectations- in your relationship,” wrote Psychotherapist Emily H Sanders.

Drawing a line between fair and unfair expectations in a relationship, Emily further explained with examples – “Expecting to get diamonds every anniversary? Well, that’s not a fair expectation. Expecting your partner will know what you’re thinking about being told? Also, not a fair expectation. But wishing you’d receive some comfort when you’re sad? That’s a fair expectation (and a need).”

ALSO READ: Things to remember while looking for love

Here are the things we are allowed to expect in a relationship:

Consequences of the partner’s actions: We should expect the partner to know how to act around us, and how the consequences of their actions can affect us.

Affection: Expecting affection, love and care is a primary need in a relationship. The partner should show affection through words and actions. All of us deserve to feel loved.

Spending time: Two people in a relationship should spend time together. While it is also important to spend time apart and prioritise our own needs, the time spent together helps in connecting two people more.

Interest: We can expect our partners to show interest in knowing about us, our values, ethics and dreams.

Comfort: Asking for comfort and compassion when we are going through difficult times is a basic need, and a fair expectation in a relationship.

Faithful: When a relationship is exclusive, we should expect the other person to remain faithful to us.

Agree to disagree: Two people with different perspectives and opinions can always disagree in a relationship, and still be together and embrace their differences.