Things we need to do to manage conflict well: Expert shares tips

Relationships take a lot of efforts and a lot of work to be carried forward. In close relationships, where the companions are extremely emotionally attached to each other, it is natural for conflicts to happen. However, unlike the way we see it, conflicts are actually healthy if we know how to handle them. Conflicts help in opening up new perspectives for us and it helps in encouraging growth and opinions. But we also need to know the ways of managing conflicts in a healthy way and not letting the relationship be affected because of that. Because, conflicts may help us understand the perspectives of our partners better, but conflicts that are not addressed for a long time, can adversely affect the relationship as well.

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Marriage and Family Therapist Elizabeth Earnshaw addressed the issue of conflicts and how we need to manage it well, especially in close relationships, in one of her recent Instagram posts. “In close relationships conflict happens. And we can learn to manage it well. Here are some things I teach people to work on in couples therapy,” Elizabeth further noted down a few pointers that we should keep in mind in order to manage conflict in a healthy way:

Respect: Even when we are upset and we tend to get little defensive, we should maintain the respect we have for the other person. We should not say things or do things that we may end up regretting for, later.

Believe: We need to create a space for our partners to express their emotions. We also need to believe that what the partner feels and the things that he/she says, matters a lot, as it impacts the relationship directly.

Slow down: In most cases of conflicts, slowing down when the argument gets too heated up and then coming back to it later can offer a lot of solutions. When it gets very difficult, it is suggested to take a little break and come back to the conversation later.

Positions: We also need to understand the positions that each of us are in and hence, address the situation accordingly.

Dynamics: Instead of getting in to the petty things of correcting each other and bringing up things from the past, it is important to address the larger picture – the dynamic between the two people in the relationship.