Top signs that you are sabotaging your relationship

Our past can have a deep impact on our life patterns and can take a toll on our romantic life too. While people want their relationship to be healthy, loving and nurturing, one might unintentionally do things that may sabotage their bond. A troubled childhood, a set of traumatic events, or even past relationships can be some of the reasons for this behaviour which often doesn’t result in a happy ending with your partner. (Also read: Does your marriage feel boring? Add these 3 sexy things to reignite the spark)

Fear of intimacy which stems from lack of trust in people may have its roots in one’s formative years. Emotional or physical abuse in childhood by a parent or a parent figure could result in difficulty in forming bonds later in life too. Some people may also fear abandonment which could make them act in a self-sabotaging way in relationships.

“Most of us want healthy and living relationships. However, sometimes we do things (intentionally or unintentionally) that sabotage our relationships. The sooner we can recognise these actions, the sooner we can make changes,” writes Sara Kuberic, writer and psychotherapist in her recent Instagram post.

According to Kuberic actively looking for flaws in others, not being honest, setting unrealistic expectations, giving silent treatment to your partner, always looking for an exit strategy, sending mixed signals are some of the signs that a person is self-sabotaging their relationship.

The psychotherapist adds that avoiding issues and conflict, cheating on the partner, being over-critical, romanticising previous partners and comparing everyone to them shows that a person is unconsciously sabotaging his/her relationship.

While the pattern is not easy to break, taking a therapy is the first step towards controlling this kind of behaviour. Being honest with yourself and delving deep into the reasons for avoiding intimacy with your partner could help one to heal the toxic behavioural pattern.