Triple H Revives World Heavyweight Championship, Buries Roman Reigns

Earlier today, WWE advertised that WWE Head of Creative Triple H would make a huge announcement during tonight’s episode of WWE Raw. Then they upped the hyperbole, and took a cue from the brain trust at Marvel Comics, by literally claiming it would be an announcement that would “rock the foundation of WWE” and even produced a cute little graphic about it. Was it Don Lemon and Tucker Carlson as the new GMs of Raw and Smackdown, respectively? A 10-year in-ring contract for Vince McMahon’s mustache? None of those things, thankfully. But it was something that will potentially improve WWE’s programming in the near future: a new World Heavyweight Championship.

Triple H took center stage at 9:00 PM and opened with a career retrospective, mentioning his WrestleMania 22 match against John Cena. Here’s what ol’ Haitch had to say:

“And now I have the incredible privilege of ensuring that WWE is all that it can be for generations going forward. And that is why I’m out here tonight to talk about Roman Reigns. The Undisputed WWE Universal Champion, who is coming up on 1,000 days as Champion. A thousand days as champion. It is incredible. It is unheard of in the modern era. He has defended that championship against everybody. A who’s who of superstars. And I can say that after seeing them all for 30 years, I can’t name too many that would be able to hang in this ring with Roman Reigns. He is that damn good.”

Triple H then discussed how Reigns exploited his talent and clout to strike a deal where he scarcely has to defend the championship. He started talking about how Reigns never shows up to defend the belt and the WWE Universe deserves better. He actually got kinda mean about it, to be honest. Apparently, Triple H got caught up in the nostalgia of his career because he accidentally tapped into his Reign of Terror mode once more and spent a little too much time burying Reigns.

The upshot of the rambling was the announcement that, whenever Reigns gets drafted, he’ll bring the Undisputed WWE Universal Championship with him. Meanwhile, the other brand will crown a new champion at Night of Champions in Saudi Arabia: a World Heavyweight Champion, in fact… the same belt Triple H once lorded over WWE with. Ah… now I get it.

As he brought his speech to a close, Triple H buried Reigns a bit more for good measure: “This will be a champion you can be proud of. This will be a champion you can respect. That you can admire. This champion will not have to demand your acknowledgment. This champion will earn your acknowledgment and will earn the title of World Heavyweight Champion.”

So there we have it. It’s a bold move to put down Roman Reigns like that, but he is a heel and he has held the belt for almost a thousand days, and he’s WWE’s biggest attraction, so it’s not like he can be buried (even if Triple H did give us all flashbacks). It’s also a much better way to get another title than somehow splitting them and letting Roman Reigns lose them separately. Did it rock the WWE Universe to its foundations leaving nothing the same again? No… but it will improve the show the new belt ends up (presumably Raw, since they telegraphed it by making the announcement here and Roman is gonna keep working Fridays). So I welcome a new World Heavyweight Championship.

*monkey’s paw curls*

Wait! Oh no! It’s gonna be Logan Paul, isn’t it?

God damn it!