Turns Out, No One Had A Good Idea For A ‘Lord Of The Rings’ Adaptation

Before Amazon nabbed the rights to its alarmingly expensive Lord of the Rings series, The Rings of Power, the Tolkien estate endured pitches that promised to turn Middle-earth into a content conveyor-belt.

The Hollywood Reporter reported on the failed pitches, each more horrifying than the last; the most egregious offender being Netflix, who wanted to take a “Marvel approach,” giving Gandalf his own series, and Aragorn his own drama.

Presumably, Netflix would incorporate easter eggs, pop culture quips and weak one-liners into Tolkien’s Legendarium, and describe the Ages of Middle-earth as “phases.”

The proposed Gandalf series would, no doubt, begin with an excruciatingly drawn-out origin story, in which the Grey Wizard finds his signature staff and hat, learns how to smoke pipe weed with Radagast (who would be played by Chris Pratt), and end with Gandalf approaching Elrond with a knowing twinkle in his eye, saying: “We’re putting a team together.”

After Frodo and Sam destroy the One Ring, perhaps Gandalf would take the surviving Fellowship out for shawarma, while in the post-credits scene, Gollum, played by Harry Styles, would re-emerge out of the fires of Mount Doom.

Thankfully, the Tolkien estate hated Netflix’s pitch, with THC describing their reaction as “freaked out.” The “Marvelization” of Tolkien’s work has already been jokingly proposed through this meme, which was intended as satire, but proved alarmingly close to Netflix’s pitch.

HBO, who already have their own fantasy epic, wanted to retell the story of the Third Age, essentially rehashing the events of Peter Jackson’s beloved trilogy. Maybe this wouldn’t be the worst idea – HBO has a better track record than most, and a series could incorporate some of the elements that Jackson’s trilogy cut out, such as the Scouring of the Shire, and even Tom Bombadil.

The Russo brothers, directors of Avenger: Infinity War, also wanted to take a crack at the Third Age, reportedly keen to retell it “as an Aragorn story.” The Tolkien estate, however, understood that it is too soon to revisit Jackson’s trilogy.

Amazon’s negotiating team promised to keep the Tolkien estate creatively involved, and the Rings of Power showrunners, Patrick McKay J.D. Payne, won the gig by pitching a story set in the Second Age, based on the appendices at the end of The Return of the King, which are little more than notes, describing the major events of those centuries.

Hence, the Rings of Power walks a fine line between canon and licensed fan fiction; the show has come under intense criticism, from legitimate gripes to outright bigotry, from fans who feel fiercely protective of Tolkien’s work.

But Jackson’s trilogy raised the bar very high, almost impossibly so (despite the fact that many Lord of the Rings fans disliked the changes he made to the book, his films are skillfully crafted, undeniably labors of love).

A truly “faithful” adaption of Tolkien’s plodding books, full of songs and scenic descriptions, might well be impossible to film; perhaps it’s best that the Rings of Power holds a certain amount of creative freedom, to fill in the blanks Tolkien left behind, while keeping to the major plot points of the Second Age.

Viewers were inevitably going to return to Middle-earth, it seems; even if the Rings of Power isn’t perfect, at least it isn’t the “Marvel approach.”