Understatement is overrated when it comes to getting dressed. This is a controversial opinion – an unfashionable one even – in the year of quiet luxury. But before you reach for yet another white T-shirt, hear me out.
Clothes are an opportunity to let people know who you are. Why waste that opportunity? Most of modern life seems to be everyone shouting over each other and no one listening to what anyone else has to say, but every time you get dressed, you get to introduce yourself to the world, on your own terms, without having to interrupt anyone. Your outfit says hello even before you say a word.
I get it, the appeal of understated clothes. Of course I do. Timeless classics, in neutral colours, are a useful fallback when you are just looking to fit in and be accepted. A little black dress at a party, simple tailoring at the office, a pastel dress at a wedding: these are all safe, effective strategies when all you are aiming for is not to look like a fish out of water.
But there are lots of times where we can aim a tad higher, on the first-impression stakes, than to reassure people that we are allowed in the room/won’t frighten the horses/are a safe pair of hands. What I mean is that “she looks as if she’s probably fine” sets an unnecessarily low bar for social interaction. What would you like people to think, when they see you? Take the initiative. Maybe you’d like them to think you look interesting. Maybe you’d like them to think you look sophisticated, or fun, or powerful, or sexy. What you wear can do all of those things.
Let’s say that you’d like people to think you look interesting. A print dress is a really good place to start here. You don’t need to put together a complex multi-layered outfit; much quicker to choose a bold dress in a strong colour or an interesting print. Ditsy florals don’t count, sorry. But still, a dress is a one-and-done shortcut to getting dressed, and it doesn’t take any longer to put on an eye-catching dress than it does to put on a boring one.
Understated clothes can accidentally make you look invisible, and the brutal truth is that this becomes more true as you get older. In midlife, the kind of drapey, oatmeal loungewear that you might fondly imagine makes you look refined and mysterious can have the unintended effect of making you barely visible. This is annoying, and unfair and stupid and I wish it wasn’t the case.
But you don’t have to surrender to it. It takes a bit more intentionality in the way you dress to surface yourself when you are not in your 20s and 30s, that’s all.
So now you’ve got your dress on, you need shoes and a top layer. So, make a surprising, non-obvious choice. Reach for a chunky shoe in a bold colour rather than a neutral court, and a punchy blazer rather than a droopy cardigan. Cardigans are a danger area for anyone over 40, men as well as women. They need structure, or a chunky fabric, or unexpected buttons or a stripe. Something to make them look a bit dynamic and lively. Otherwise, cardigans can make you look like someone about to doze off in an armchair rather than show you as the scintillating creature you actually are.
Dial it up, not down. If you want to look sophisticated, dial back the colour, but go for dramatic shapes: a caped sleeve, or an extra-long hemline. A voluminous silhouette or a graphic, narrow one rather than the norm-core of in between. Your outfit is your hello to the world. So it’s worth checking you are not accidentally leaving yourself on mute.
Hair and make up: Carol Morley at Carol Hayes Management. Model: Aster at Body London. Blazer: Jigsaw. Dress: Phase Eight. Shoes: Russell and Bromley. Earrings: Ottoman Hands
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