‘Vanderpump’s’ Tom Sandoval is a ‘monster’ who needs ‘a hug,’ Tom Schwartz says. Huh?!

“Vanderpump Rules” star Tom Schwartz fumbled through his “Watch What Happens Live” interview Wednesday when pressed for details about the so-called “Scandoval” affair between his business partner and best friend Tom Sandoval and their co-star Raquel Leviss.

“Man, he got lost in the sauce,” Schwartz said of Sandoval.

And that was probably one of the only coherent answers the Bravo reality star gave Wednesday night.

In scattershot responses, Schwartz, who runs L.A.’s Schwartz & Sandy’s Lounge with Sandoval, told host Andy Cohen that he thought Sandoval and Leviss would come clean about their affair, which rocked Season 10 of their reality series. He said he was upset with Leviss, but more upset with Sandoval because “he took advantage of my kindness and he put a lot of people, not just myself, in very compromising situations where our integrity was at stake.”

But the reality star floundered through his talking points — if he even had any at all — and made several problematic conjectures while in the hot seat.

“Tom has ADHD and honestly he became obsessed — he’s notorious for having one singular obsession — that’s his heroin. He’s addicted. It’s an infatuation of all infatuations. Raquel is Tom’s heroin,” he tried to explain.

Cohen and his fellow guest, “Unstable” screenwriter and co-star John Owen Lowe, seemed taken aback by the reality star’s remarks, reacting to Schwartz’s outlandish answers with instantly meme-able expressions. At one point, Lowe (who is actor Rob Lowe’s son) asked Schwartz if he really thought Raquel was “as bad as heroin,” and the reality star admitted he was making a bad analogy.

“Can I start over? I hope I don’t minimize or disrespect people who actually have addictions — the disease of addictions,” Schwartz said. Cohen, recognizing that the conversation was getting derailed again, moved it along. (At one point the host called out Schwartz for responding with “a word salad.”)

The restaurateur, who has starred in the “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” spinoff since it debuted in 2013, told Cohen that he first learned Sandoval was cheating on longtime girlfriend Ariana Madix last August, describing the infidelity as “a one-night stand, allegedly.”

He said he learned in January that Sandoval and Leviss were seeing more of each other — just weeks before the scandal erupted in early February and Madix quickly ended her nearly nine-year relationship with Sandoval.

“Tom was having, like, a midlife crisis,” Schwartz said, “I didn’t think it was a linear thing.”

“From my point of view, it became an emotional affair, which is still inappropriate but I didn’t think it was a linear thing … in succession, like steadily progressing. [Sandoval] came to me in January and he told me that he’s in love with Raquel,” he added.

Schwartz said he was “flabbergasted” by the revelation but not surprised.

“I think there’s a lot of people out there who kind of know it was an open secret — Tom and Raquel — after that, Tom kind of got flagrant. He was brazen after he told me that he was in love. Like it was a release for him,” Schwartz said. “And, for the record, I’m being fed a narrative that he has broken up with Ariana or attempted to multiple times and he’s not happy, they’re not healthy, they’re not intimate, blah blah blah. All of it’s inconsequential now in light of the way he handled it.

The TomTom junior partner said Sandoval “did a good job of placating” him amid the ongoing affair.

“I’m consumed with my own life, my own problems and he told me he has a game plan he’s going to do the right thing and then he just kind of continued to procrastinate,” he said.

In closing thoughts, Schwartz had kind, if not bizarre, parting words for Sandoval.

“Tom, I know the whole world hates you, but I’m not going to abandon you, old buddy,” Schwartz said. “He knows he’s a monster for what he did. And if you see him, maybe give him a hug. Even if he doesn’t deserve it. Give him a hug. He’s down bad.”

“Vanderpump Rules” co-star Katie Maloney, who divorced Schwartz in 2022 and appeared in Wednesday’s episode of the show, was among the many who dragged the reality star for his “not good” showing on “WWHL.”

“Tom, I have to words for you: media training,” she said in an Instagram video, “because you’re just going to say whatever lands in your head.”

Then, tweeting the clip of Schwartz telling fans to be kind to Sandoval, the singer wrote: “You’re the only that wants to hug him dude. READ THE ROOM!!!”

Fans piled on in her replies, tweeting, “It’s crazy that he is….. like this…” and “Katie… you deserve a medal for putting up with him for so long.”

Others took to the comments section of his latest Instagram post — one in which he declared how he would be spoiling people’s drinking game during his appearance — to unleash their rage and let him know they thought he was “clueless.”

“You seriously need to stop making excuses for Sandoval and Rachel. You should’ve apologized to Ariana on live TV and owned it. That would’ve been nice,” wrote one user.

“You know if you defended Katie the way you do your lil buddy you’d still be married…,” another wrote.