Ways by which the abandonment wound shows up in adulthood

When we are brought up in dysfunctional homes, we tend to develop anxiety issues related to abandonment. This can stem from childhood trauma or anxious attachment style of being left behind in a relationship. The intense fear of abandonment can show up later in different ways in adult relationships as well. “Abandonment issues is an informal term that describes a strong fear of losing loved ones or of them leaving a relationship. It is a form of anxiety that can affect relationships throughout life. Abandonment issues are not a distinct diagnosis. Fear of abandonment can come from an anxious attachment style or early childhood trauma. We often associate it with our parents/caregivers leaving but it can also be when parents are not available in the way we need them to be, e.g., emotional neglect,” wrote Therapist Lalitaa Suglani.

ALSO READ: Signs of an abandonment wound

The Therapist further suggested ways by which abandonment issues may show up in adulthood:

Anxiety about people leaving: The intense fear of abandonment always makes us feel that everyone will leave us, and we will be left alone.

Hypervigilant: The thought of being left behind and the fear of not being liked by others often make us become hypervigilant to the moods and expressions of others.

Oversensitive to feedback: We are extremely sensitive to criticism, or the feedback received from others. We always take things to heart and connect them to ways in which people may abandon us.

Attachment issues: Fear of abandonment shows up in the extremities of choosing the way we want to be attached – either we are all in, or we are scared to commit.

Difficulty in emotional intimacy: The fear of being abandoned makes us become stern and strict about growing emotional intimacy with others. We always feel that we will be hurt, and hence we try to protect ourselves by not being vulnerable.