Ways of working through self-criticism: Psychotherapist suggests

Self-criticism can be a draining process. Especially when we are raised in abusive homes, we have witnessed a lot of criticism which are not constructive at all – instead they end up making us feel like a failure. With time, we grow the bubble around us that we are not good for anything, so we deserve the criticism that we face. In fact, we also start criticising everything that we do in order to ensure that we do it right. However, this makes us feel always under pressure, often from us. Psychotherapist Emily H Sander addressed this in her recent Instagram post and wrote, “Many believe that criticism is helpful- however, I believe we thrive and achieve in spite of criticism, not because of it. That being said, it IS important for us to be able to tolerate feedback and to be able to objectively think critically- without it becoming criticism that is devaluing. A marker of emotional health is to be able to see ourselves accurately, and identify areas where we need growth without that making us bad.”

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Emily further noted down a few pointers that can help us in losing the toxic cycle of self-criticism and seeing the real self-growth. They are:

Origin: to get over self-criticism, first we would need to trace back to the origin of when and why it started. Often it roots from self-protection.

Compassion: We are always told to be compassionate to others. But we sometimes need to look within and start being curious and compassionate to the parts of us that have been broken down by criticism.

Mindfulness: Some emotions that we portray, such as anger and fear are beyond the clasps of criticism. We need to start being mindful about them.

Response: Paying attention to the language and tone that we talk to ourselves in and having an initial response of having our own back.

Inner child: Sometimes talking to ourselves and addressing the inner child in us can help.

Challenges: Combating the self-criticism by challenging it with positivity.

Vulnerability: often being vulnerable to the people we trust and baring our heart to them can help us heal.

Self-assessment: Having a balanced outlook to the things and combating self-criticism with a balanced look and knowing the areas we need to work on, can help in getting rid of self-criticism.